Muri wowe usigaye wiyumvamo amajwi akubwira ko umubano urimo udahagaze neza ndetse ko wumva wabivamo?Usigaye wibaza niba utarayobye mu rukundo urimo ukabura igisubizo?
Tugiye kurebera hamwe ibimenyetso wagenderaho ukemeza ko umukunzi mukundana ubu wamuyobeyeho,atari wowe yagenewe.
1.Ntiwishimiye urukundo rwanyu
Iki ni ikimenyetso shingiro ukwiriye kugenderaho. Iyo uri murukundo nyarukundo ndetse rufite intego ifatika, mugomba kurangwa no kwishimira urukundo rwanyu. Niba utakigira cyangwa utarigeze urangwa nibyishimo mu rukundo rwanyu, mukaba musigaye muhora mugirana ibibazo bidashira, wayobye inzira ,umukunzi mukundana si wowe yagenewe.
Kugirana ikibazo ku bakundana bibaho kandi si n’igitangaza,ariko niba wowe n’umukunzi wawe muhorana ibibazo bidashira ,kutumvikana guhoraho, intonaganya za buri munsi ,ibi byose byakwereka ko mutaremewe gukundana.
2.Nawe ubwawe ubyiyumvamo
Umuntu yabasha kubeshya undi/abandi bantu. Ariko umutima wawe n’intekerezo byawe ntushobora kubibeshya. Niba rero nawe ubwawe urukundo urimo utarwiyumvamo ndetse rutagushimishije,ni ikindi kimenyetso ko ugomba kugira mikindi ukora hakabaho impinduka mu rukundo rwanyu, byananirana mugatandukana.
3.Inshuti zawe zirabikubwira
Inshuti zawe n’umuryango wawe bashobora gutuma uhitamo nabi umukunzi cyangwa bakakuyobya . Kimwe n’uko bagufasha kugira mahitamo meza.
Mu buzima hari abantu bakuba hafi b’inshuti zawe magara(z’akadasohoka). Akenshi aba bakunzi baba bazi imiterere n’imitekerereze byawe. Niba rero izi nshuti zawe twise izahafi kandi nawe wizera zikugira inama yo kureka umukunzi mukundana ubu ,kuko babona ntacyo bizakugezaho,wibima amatwi. Bitekerezeho unababaze ingaruka mbi babibonamo. Jya utinya iritavuze umwe.
4.Usigaye wumva wikundiye abandi basore/bakobwa
Nubwo uri murukundo ariko usigaye ushimishwa no kumva wakwikundanira n’undi mukobwa/muhungu. Wumva aribyo byaguha umunezero nibyishimo. Hari ikindi kimenyetso utegereje?Nawe ubwawe warambiwe urukundo urimo,ntirukigushimishije .Uba wumva hari icyo ubura ubona wabonera ahandi.
5.Ugerageza kubyima amaso
Guhunga ukuri ntibikubuza kuba ukuri. Niba ubona bitagenda hagati yawe n’umukunzi wawe kandi bikaba atari iby’ubu, nacyo twagishyira mu ngingo wagenderaho ukemeza ko urukundo urimo ari ubuyobe.
6.Ibibi biruta ibyiza
Mu rukundo buri wese aba agomba kuhabonera ibyiza. Nubwo hatabura n’ibibazo. Ariko usigaye wicara ugasanga ibibi biri mu mubano wanyu biraruta kure ibyiza bibahuza. Ikiganiro niyo ntwaro, nubona byanze cyangwa ntagihindutse uzamenye ko byanze bikunze umukunzi mukundana ubu atari we wagenewe.
Urukundo ni urusobe,ubona umuntu ugukunda by’ukuri biragoye. Biba byiza nibura iyo umenye ko umukunzi wawe ariwe mukwiriye kuba mukundanda,ko utayobye. Suzuma urukundo rwawe wifashishije izi ngingo uko ari 6. Niba hari kimwe muri byo kitagenda,komeza ugereze urebe niba uzabona ibindi bimeneyetso,uzabone gufata umwanzuro. Niba kandi ibi bimenyetso byose biranga urukundo rwanyu,ukwiriye kubivamo hakiri kare. Si byiza ko iteka ureka gukundana n’umuntu nyuma y’uko ibintu bigeze iwandabaga.
R.Christophe
Eng
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TANGA IGITECYEREZO