Abagabo ntibagomba kuba ba terera iyo! Uko wakwita ku mugore wawe mu gihe atwite

Nk’umugabo ufite inshingano zo kwita ku muryango, ni ngombwa rero kumenya ko ubuzima bw’umugore wawe utwite ndetse n’ubw’uwo atwite nabwo bukureba. Yego, ntabwo wamworohereza ngo umutwaze umwana, cyangwa ngo umugabanyirize umutwaro, ariko hari byinshi wakora mu rwego rwo kumuba ahafi.

Inyandiko yasohotse mu kinyamakuru National Health Care cyo mu Bwongereza igaragaza uburyo umugabo agomba kwitwara mu gihe umugore we atwite n’uko yamufasha akanamuba hafi:

Icya mbere ugomba kumenya ni uko hari bimwe mubyo ugomba kureka mu gihe umugore wawe atwite: niba usanzwe unywa itabi n’inzoga, ni byiza kubireka. 

Umwotsi w’itabi ni mubi cyane ku mugore utwite, na none kandi inzoga nimbi cyane, birumvikana niba ubikunda cyane kandi wumva ko kubireka bitakorohera, nyamara ni byiza kubireka mu rwego rwo kwirinda ko umugore wawe n’uwo atwite bahungabana.

Abahanga bavuga ko mu gihe wabaswe n’itabi, ukaba utabasha kurireka, ari byiza kurinywera kure cyane y’umugore utwite, ndetse ukirinda ko hari aho yahurira n’umwotsi waryo.

Mube hafi, umugore utwite akenera cyane umuntu umuba hafi, akamuganiriza, mbese akamwereka ko amwitayeho, akunze kumva ananine, afite ubwoba, cyangwa akeneye umuba hafi. 

Ni byiza rero ko umubonera umwanya uhagije, ukamubwira uko umunsi wawe wagenze, mukaganira ku mwana mugiye kwibaruka, n’uko mutegerezanyije amatsiko menshi.

Na none kandi ugomba kumenya kwita ku marangamutima ye, nyabuneka irinde kumubwira amagambo mabi, abenshi bavuga ko umugore utwite aba afite umushiha, ndetse bakabizanamo urwenya rwinshi, aho usanga umuntu ufite umushiha bamubaza bati “uratwite?”. 

Wowe rero icyo usabwa ni ukumenya koi bi biba kandi Atari ibyo aba yigirisha, akanya gato aba yishyimye akandi akarira, ni mgombwa rero kuhaba mu gihe agukeneye, ukamuhumuriza, kandi ukamwereka urukundo.

Ikindi kandi, umugore utwite agira impinduka mu mirire, akagira ibiryo bimwe azinukwa n’ibindi aba ahora ashaka, ibyo bita “kubitwarira.” Ibi na byo ugomba kubimenyera kandi ukabyitaho. Nyamara kandi, ugomba no kwita ku mirire ye, ukamenya neza ko agomba gufata indyo yuzuye buri gihe.

Guherekeza umugore wawe mu gihe agiye kwisuzumisha, abaganga bakunze gushishikariza abagabo guherekeza abagore babo mu gihe bagiye kwisuzumisha, nyamara bamwe ntibabyiteho. 

Impamvu mugomba kujyana ni ukugira ngo mwese babahere inama hamwe, unumve ibyo wafasha umugore wawe, ariko na none, ibi bituma arushaho kubona ko umwitayeho kandi utamutereranye.

Ni byiza kandi guhora wiyungura ubumenyi ku bijyanye n’ubuzima bw’umubyeyi mu gihe atwite. Iyo umugore atwite, hari byinshi bihinduka, ni byiza rero ko ubimenya kugira ngo ubashe kumufasha. Ushobora gusoma ibitabo, ibinyamakuru bitandukanye, cyangwa ukareba andi makuru yizewe avuga ku buzima bw’umugore utwite n’uko agomba kwitwara.

Umugo utwite kandi akenera umwanya uhagije wo kuruhuka cyane cyane mu byumweru bya mbere, umubiri we uba unaniwe cyane, ni byiza rero kumuha umwanya uhagije, akaruhuka. 

Nyamara ibi ntibivuze ko nta kintu na kimwe agomba gukora, nk’uturimo two mu rugo, cyangwa niba asanzwe afite akazi katashyira ubuzima bwe mu byago, ashobora gukomeza kukajyaho rwose mu gihe yumva ameze neza.

Na none kandi, umugore wawe utwite akeneye ko mukomeza kubaho mu byishimo, mugaragarizanya urukundo nk’uko bisanzwe, ndetse kandi iki gihe nicyo aba akeneye cyane ko umwereka ko umufitiye amarangamutima y’urukundo kuruta ikindi gihe. Akeneye ko umutungura, umubwira amagambo meza, kandi ukanamugaragariza urukndo mu buryo bwose.

Ikindi kandi, ukwiye kwita ku gufasha umugore wawe, ukamukoresha imyitozo ngororamubiri. Abaganga batanga inama zo gukora ingendo ntoya n’amaguru, n’indi myitozo ariko itananiza cyane umubiri. 

Mu gihe umugore wawe, kubwe adashaka gukora imyitozo ngororamubiri, hakenewe imbaraga zawe n’ubufasha, ushobora gukorana nawe iyo myitozo bityo akayikora yishyimye kuruta uko yari kuba ari wenyine.

Mu gihe rero umugore wawe atwite, witerera iyo kuko aragukeneye cyane, ntabwo urugendo rw’amezi icyenda yarwigendana wenyine, ni byiza ko umwitaho, akabona ubufasha bwawe mu gihe agukeney, kandi ukamufasha muri buri kimwe. 

Ibi bizarushaho gutuma umuryango wanyu ubaho mu mahoro, kandi n’ubuzima bw’uwo atwite burusheho kujya mbere.