Umuntu wese aho ava akagera aba ashaka kubahwa, uhereye ku babyeyi n’abarezi bawe, kugeza ku nshuti zawe, abo bose bagukeneyeho icyubahiro. Agasuzuguro ni kimwe mu bintu bibabaza cyane, kandi kagira n’ingaruka ku mitekerereze ya muntu no ku buzima muri rusange. Nyamara ushobora kuba ubayeho ubona usuzuguwe mu bandi, ese ibi biterwa n’iki?
Kuva ukiri muto cyane, ikintu wagiye wigishwa n’ababyeyi bawe n'abarezi bawe ni ukubaha, cyane cyane abakuruta. Ibi ntabwo ari wowe wenyine wabitojwe, buri wese, yagiye abitozwa bitewe n’aho yakuriye n’uko yarezwe. Ushobora kwibaza uti “kuki ababyeyi bacu batwigishije ibi? Ni uko kubaha ari umuco mwiza ugomba kuturanga.
Inyandiko yasohotse mu kinyamakuru American Psychology Association mu mwaka wa 2018, ivuga ko kubahwa bishimisha umuntu cyane, ariko nawe agomba kubigiramo uruhare. Ushobora kuba ubona bagenzi bawe bagusuzugura, baguca amazi, ukibaza uti “Ese kuki abantu bansuzugura?”
Ujya wumva utubashywe mu bandi? Ibi bishobora guterwa n’impamvu zitandukanye. Dore zimwe mu mpamvu zishobora gutuma abantu batakubaha nk’uko tubikesha ikinyamakuru Psychologs cyo mu Buhinde:
1. Kugira imyitwarire mibi, ibangamiye abandi bantu mubana mu buzima bwa buri munsi: Niba uri wa muntu ukunda kubeshya, gusuzugura, kwiba no kubaho ubagamiye abandi, bizagorana cyane kubona umuntu ukubaha. Iyi myitwarire ituma abantu bakuburira icyizere ndetse bakabona anta mpamvu n’imwe yo kukubaha.
2. Kugira imikino ikabije: Ibi nabyo bishobora kuba intandaro yo gusuzugurwa, ni byiza ko uganira n’abandi kandi mukagira n’igihe gihagije cyo guseka no gutera urwenya. Ariko, urwenya rwinshi rushobora kugutera ibibazo utatekerezaga, keretse niba uri umunyarwenya, mbese gusetsa ubikora nk’akazi.
Nk’uko buri kintu kigira umwanya wacyo, imikino nayi igira igihe cyayo, ibi rero nibyo abantu benshi badasobanukirwa, maze bikaba byanabaviramo gusuzugurwa mu gihe bikabije.
Usanga akenshi abantu babifata nk’ubwana bwiza, bumva ko iyo basetsa baba bisanisha n’abandi, ariko iyo bimaze kurambirana batangira kubibona nk’ikibazo ndetse bagatangira no kubifata nk’impamvu yo kutakubaha nk’uko bikwiriye.
3. Kubura ubunyangamugayo: Tekereza ukuntu wizera incuti yawe magara, nyamara ikinyoma kimwe gishobora gutuma ubucuti bwanyu buzamo agatotsi, kimwe n’ibi rero, ni ngomwa kumenya ko iyo abantu bamaze kugufata nk’umunyabinyoma, batangira kugusuzugura ndetse n’ibitekerezo byawe ntibabyumve kuko nyine baba batekereza ko nta bunyangamugayo n’ukuri bibirimo.
4. Kuba nyamwigendaho: Iyi ni ingingo ikomeye cyane, ndetse niba wibaza impamvu abantu batakubaha, ugomba kubanza ukisuzuma. Ukibaza uti “ese mbana nte n’abandi?” “aho sinaba ndi nyamwigendaho?” Nyuma yo kwisubiza ushobora gusanga koko ari yo mpamvu.
Iyo buri kintu cyose ukora uba witaye ku nyungu zawe, udatekereza ku marangamutima y’abandi, gahoro gahoro abantu bagenda bagushiraho ndetse n’icyubahiro baguhaga kikayoyoka.
5. Kutagira intego mu buzima: Kugira intego ni kimwe mu bitandukanya ikiremwa muntu n’izindi nyamanswa, umuntu afite ubushobozi bwo kwiha intego ndetse agakora cyane ngo azigereho.
Abantu bakunze kubaha wa muntu ufite intego zikomeye mu buzima ndetse ukora cyane ngo azigereho, kuko abatera imbaraga kandi bakanamugirira icyizere. Ku rundi ruhande kandi, abantu rwose basuzugura wa wundi utagira icyo yitaho, mbese nta ntego agira mu buzima.
6. Kugira agasuzuguro no kutiyubaha: Nta muntu uzaguha icyubahiro mu gihe nawe ubwawe utiyubaha, ndetse ntuzigere unategereza icyubahiro kivuye ku bandi mu gihe wowe ubwawe utiyubaha. Na none mu gihe usuzugura abandi, nawe nta muntu uzakubaha, niba rero ugira agasauzuguro muri wowe, ukaba utiyubahisha, ishobora kuba ari yo mpamvu abantu bagusuzugura.
7. Kuba igifura: Akenshi incuti iyo ziri kumwe, ziraganira, zigaseka, zigasererezanya n’ibindi. Umuntu urakara vuba rero iyo bamserereje gato, ahita arakara akaba yanarwana, ibi bituma isura yawe mu ncuti zawe yangirika. Buri wese akunda kubana n’abantu bisanzura ndetse batarakazwa n’ubusa. Niba rero uri igifura bishobora kuba ari yo mpamvu ituma abantu batakubaha, ndetse incuti zigenda zigushiraho.
8. Guhunga inshingano: Abantu batinya inshingano ndetse bakanirengagiza ibyo bagomba gukora, usanga batubashywe rwose. Urugero: umubyeyi utita ku bana be n’umuryango we ahubwo agahora yasize abahoza ku nkeke, bishobora gutuma asuzugurwa cyane.
Niba nawe uri mu bantu bajya bibaza impamvu basuzugurwa, ubona abandi bantu bagufata mu buryo butari bwiza, ugomba kubanza kwirebaho mbere yo kugira uwo unenga.
Banza urebe niba ikibazo Atari wowe giturukaho maze ubone gufata ingamba. Mu gihe usanze, ari wowe nyirabayazana wo gusuzugurwa kwawe, fata umwanya ubundi ushyireho ingamba zo kwisubiraho bityo ubashye kongera kubaka icyizere mu bantu no gutsindira icyubahiro.
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TANGA IGITECYEREZO