Gutandukanya urukundo n’ubucuti busanzwe bishobora kukugora cyane, ariko urukundo rurimo amarangamutima yimbitse atandukanye nayo ugirira incuti zawe bisanzwe, ndetse uhora ushaka ko umubano wanyu uzarushaho gukomera. Mu gihe ubucuti busanzwe bwo bwibanda ku busabane, no kubahana, ariko nta marangamutima yandi abyihishe inyuma.
Inkuru yasohotse mu kinyamakuru Wiki How isobanura
neza itandukaniro riri hagati y’ubucuti n’urukundo:
Urukundo
ni iki?
Gusobanura icyo urukundo ari cyo, bikunze kugorana
kuko nta gisobanuro cyarwo cyihariye. Urukundo rusobanurwa akenshi nk’amarangamutima
yimbitse umuntu agirira undi akumva amukunze cyane, ashaka ko baba bari kumwe
kenshi, baganira, kandi bakamenyana byimbitse. Iyo ukundana n’umuntu, hari
amarangamutima arenze kumukunda gusa ugira.
Urukundo rubamo kwizerana, kumva hari amarangamutima
akomeye agukurura k’uwo ukunda, ndetse no kumva umwitayeho bidasanzwe. Ntabwo
ari ukuba hafi umukunzi wawe gusa; urukundo rurimo no kuganira no gusangira
inzozi, ibibazo, ahazaza, n’ibyishyimo.
Urukundo kandi ruzana no kumva ufite ishyaka no
kwifuza kuba uri kumwe n’uwo muntu, wumva adasanzwe mu buzima bwawe. Abantu
bakundana akenshi bifuza kumarana hafi umwanya wabo wose, kandi bita cyane ku byishimo
byabo no kubana neza. Urukundo rushobora rimwe na rimwe kuzamo ibibazo, nko
gufuha cyangwa kutumvikana ku ngingo zimwe na zimwe.
Ubucuti
ni iki?
Ku rundi ruhande, ubucuti, ubusanzwe bujyanye no
gusabana, ubuvandimwe, kwizerana, no kubahana. Inshuti nziza ni umuntu wizeye,
wishimira, kandi ushobora kuganira nawe ku bintu byose. Ubucuti bwubakiye ku bwitonzi,
ineza, no gushyigikirana, ariko kandi ubucuti ntabwo buhuye n’urukundo, incuti
yawe isanzwe uba uyikunda ariko utayifitiye amarangamutima yimbitse nk’ayo
ugirira umukunzi wawe, ikindi kandi ntabwo incuti isanzwe akenshi uyifuhira mu
gihe ziri kumwe n’izindi ncuti kuko ntabwo uba hari ikindi uteganya kuri iyo
ncuti nk’urukundo.
Nyamara gutandukanya urukundo n’ubucuti busanzwe
bishobora kugorana cyane, Inshuti zishyigikirana, kandi isano yazo ishingiye ku
kwizerana, no kugirana inama, ariko na none abakunzi barashyigikirana,
barizerana, bagirana inama, n’ibindi.
Itandukaniro
riri hagati y’urukundo n’ubucuti
Ibyiyumvo by’amarangamutima: Urukundo ruba rwiganjemo
amarangamutima yimbitse hagati y’abakundana. Harimo ibyiyumvo bidasanzwe, kumva
wifuje guhora hafi ye, kumwitaho, no kumumenya bihagije, ibi rero mu bucuti
busanzwe siko bimeze.
Ubushake bwo kumarana igihe kirekire: mu rukundo, uba
wifuza ko uwo mukundana mumarana igihe kirekire, ndetse urukundo rwanyu
murufitiye izindi ntego nko gushyingiranwa. Ariko mu bucuti busanzwem ntabwo
muba mufite izo ntego kuko usbye kuba muri incuti, nta bindi muba mupanga
byisumbuyeho.
Urukundo rurangwa no kwiyumva bidasanzwe mu gihe uri
kumwe n’uwo mukundana, muri kuvugana, cyangwa uri kumutekerezaho gusa. Akenshi usanga
iyo umutekerezaho, uba uri kwisetsa, wishimye bidasanzwe, n’ibindi. Nyamara ku
bucuti busanzwe si uko bimeze.
Rimwe na rimwe, ushobora kwitiranya urukundo n’ubucuti
busanzwe ndetse bikaba byanagukoresha amakosa. Akenshi inkuru z’urukundo z’abantu
batandukanye zagiye zitangirira mu bucuti busanzwe, nyuma abantu bakisanga
bakundanye by’ukuri. Nyamara hari n’abandi bibeshya ko ubucuti bafitanye ako
kanya ari urukundo, maze bakisama basandaye.
Ariko, ntabwo ubucuti bwose burangira abantu babaye
abakunzi, nta n’ubwo buri nkuru y’urukundo yose itangirira mu bucuti. Nyamara urukundo
n’ubucuti byose ni ngombwa kandi bishobora kuzuzanya mu buryo butandukanye mu
gihe ubashije kubigenzura ntubyitiranye. Incuti n’umukunzi baratandukanye,
ariko bose bagira uruhare mu mibereho yawe myiza, ibyishimo, n’ubuzima bwiza.
TANGA IGITECYEREZO