Nakora iki mu gihe mbona umukunzi wanjye atagishishikajwe n’urukundo rwacu?

Ni ngombwa ko ubiganiraho n’umukunzi wawe kuko hashobora kuba hari impamvu zibyihishe inyuma, zakemurwa n’ibiganiro. Kubona umukunzi wawe agenda ajya kure yawe gahoro gahoro, atakikubonera umwanya, bisa nk’aho atacyikwitayeho, birababaza cyane kandi biragoye kubyakira no kubimenyera.

Igitangaje rero ni uko ibi byiyumvo ushobora kubigira nyamara ntaho bihuriye n’urukundo rwanyu, ari ibitekerezo byawe gusa, cyangwa hari izindi mpamvu. Ni byiza rero kubanza ukabiganiraho n’umukunzi wawe mbere yo kugira ikindi ubikoraho. 

Dore ibyo ugomba kwibandaho mu gihe ubona umukunzi wawe atagishishikajwe n’urukundo rwanyu nk’uko tubikesha ikinyamakuru Very Well Mind:

Ntutinye kumubwira uko wiyumva: mu kubwira umukunzi wawe ibyiyumvo byawe ugomba kwitonda, ntubimubwire usa n’umushinja, ahubwo umubwire mu buryo bworoheje. 

Urugero mubwire uti: ”Birambabaza iyo nkuvugisha kenshi ntunsubize” aho kumubwira uti: ”Kuki utakimvugisha?” Ibi biba bias nk’aho uri kumukanga no kumushinja bishobora no gutuma ibintu biba bibi kurushaho.

Ugomba guha umukunzi wawe umwanya wo kukubwira uko abyumva: Ugomba kandi kugerageza kubaha ibyo akubwira. Ha umukunzi wo kwisobanura no kuvuga ku kiganiro muri kugirana aho kwiharira umwanya wose, kuko ushobora gusanga nawe hari byinshi yashakaga ko muvugaho agatinya kubizamura mbere. 

Ikindi kandi mu gihe muri kuganira, irinde kurakara cyane cyangwa kumubwira nabi, kumuvugisha n’umujinya bishobora kumubabaza cyangwa bigatuma atakara maze urukundo rwanyu ntube ukirutabaye.

Ikindi ni uko utagomba kuza wigize nk’aho uzi buri kimwe: niba ubona atakikwitayeho, mubaze icyaba kiri kubitera aho kuza umeze n’umukanga kuko ushobora no gusanga uko ubifata atari ko biri cyangwa ari wowe ufite amakosa. 

Ikindi ni uko bishobora kuba biterwa n’ibibazo bye bwite nk’imihangayiko, ibibazo byo mu muryango, n’ibindi bibazo bitandukanye. Ugomba rero kumwumva no kumuha umwanya wo kugusobanurira.

Ikindi ni uko utagomba guhita ufata umwanzuro uhubutse: irinde kumera nk’aho waje kuganira n’umukunzi wawe wamaze gufata umwanzuro, ahubwo ugomba kubanza ukieonda maze wowe n’umukunzi wawe mugafatira umwanzuro hamwe.

Shyira ingufu mu kongera kuzahura umubano wanyu: Niba ushaka kubyutsa umubano wanyu, gira umwete wo kwereka umukunzi wawe uko umwitayeho kandi umuha agaciro, gerageza ibikorwa bishya, umubwire amagambo, no kumarana umwanya muri kumwe, muganira ku byo mwakora ngo murusheho gukundana.

Ikindi cy’ingenzi ugomba kumenya ni uko niba ubona bitagikuze, ugomba gukuramo akawe karenge, ukareka gukomeza kwibabariza amarangamutima. Gerageza wubahe umwanzuro we, umwumve kandi niba akubwije ukuri ko atakigukunda kandi ashaka ko urukundo rwanyu muruhagarika, ni byiza ko wemera umwanzuro we mazu mukabireka.

Ugomba kandi kwibanda ku kwiyitaho, ubuzima bwawe bwo mutwe n’amarangamutima yawe ugakora ibishoboka byose ngo bidahungabana, ugomba rero guata umwanya wawe maze ukibanda ku mibereho yawe bwite. Ntukibande kandi ku byahise, ahubwo emera ibyabaye maze ukomeze ubuzima. 

Ibi byose nubyitaho kandi ukabikurikiza, bizagufasha mu gihe ubona umukunzi wawe atakiguha umwanya uhagije cyangwa atagishishikajwe n’urukundo rwanyu. Ushobora gusanga biri guterwa n’izindi mpamvu zo ku ruhande, maze mukabiganiraho mugafatanya kubikemura byaba na ngombwa ukamufasha guca mu bihe bimukomereye ari gucamo.

Ariko na none niba bitagishobotse ko mugumana, ntuzirikwe n’amateka y’urukundo rwanyu rutabashije gukomeza ahubwo ukomeze ubuzima.