Abasore gusa: Dore inzira ukwiye gucamo urambagiza umukobwa muzabana

Inzira ukwiye gucamo urambagiza ni iyi:

1. Kubenguka

Mbere y'uko urambagiza umukobwa, urabanza ukamubona ukamubenguka, ukumva uramukunze, ukumva ugize icyifuzo muri wowe ko yakubera umufasha.

2. Kumenyana

Nyuma yo kumubenguka, ushaka uburyo mumenyana ku buryo ntawanyura ku wundi atamusuhuje, nyuma y’ibyo uba wemerewe kumurambagiza (kumusaba urukundo). Si byiza gusaba umuntu urukundo atakuzi atarakubonaho. Iyo umuzi we atakuzi, ntabwo wihutira kumusaba urukundo ahubwo ushaka uburyo umumenyesha ko umushaka mugahura, intego ari ukugira ngo mumenyane, wabimubwira imbonankubone, wamubwira ukoresheje itumanaho rya telephone cyangwa ikoranabuhanga, wamwandikira ibaruwa,…Uburyo bwose wabimubwiramo, ariko intego atari ukumusaba urukundo ahubwo ari ukugira ngo mumenyane, noneho nyuma yo kumenyana ukazafata undi mwanya wo gusaba urukundo.

3. Guhana gahunda yo kuganira

Iyo ugiye gusaba umuntu urukundo, ntabwo urumusabira kuri telephone cyangwa ukoresheje irindi tumanaho iryo ariryo ryose, si byiza kandi gusaba umuntu urukundo aho ariho hose umuboneye, ugomba kumubwira ko umushaka ukamusaba ko aguha umwanya mukaganira, mugahurira ahantu mwahisemo guhurira (wamusura cyangwa we akagusura, cyangwa mugahurira ahandi aho ariho hose mwahisemo guhurira, bitewe n’icyo mwumva kibanogeye), mugahura azi neza ko hari ubutumwa umufitiye yiteguye kubwumva, ukagenda witwaje ibyangombwa byuzuye byo kurambagiza (ibaruwa isaba urukundo n’umwirondoro wawe).

4. Kumushimira ko yaguhaye umwanya mukaganira

Nyuma yo kugera aho mwahisemo guhurira, ikintu cya mbere ukora ni ukumushimira ko yitabiriye ubutumire bwawe, cyangwa ko yaguhaye karibu iwabo nk'uko wabyifuzaga (niba wamusuye),…Wamushimira byinshi bitewe n’ibyo wumva ufite umushimira.

5. Kumubwira ko umukunda

Nyuma yo kumushimira, umubwira ko umukunda, ukabimubwira mu magambo meza watekerejeho wahisemo kumubwira, aha ushobora kumubwira imitoma myiza ukamurata ubwiza, uburanga, ikinyabupfura n’ibindi bitewe n’amagambo wapanze kumubwira; ariko ntuhite umubwira icyifuzo cyawe ko wifuza ko akubera umufasha kuko umwanya wabyo uba utaragera.

6. Kumubaza ko afite inshuti bafitanye gahunda yo kurushinga

Nyuma yo kumubwira ko umukunda ntabwo wihutira kumusaba urukundo, urabanza ukamubaza niba afite inshuti bafitanye gahunda yo kurushinga kabone n'ubwo waba usanzwe uzi ko ntayo afite, urongera ukabimubaza kuko kuva igihe wamenyeye ko nta nshuti afite, byashoboka ko no mu masaha make ashize yaba yayibonye. Iyo akubwiye ko afite inshuti, uhagararira aho ntiwirirwa wirushya umusaba urukundo. Ashobora no kuguheza mu rungabangabo ntakubwire ko afite inshuti cyangwa ko ntayo afite, muri make akakubwira ko bitarasobanuka, icyo gihe nabwo ntiwirirwa utera indi ntambwe yo kumusaba urukundo, uramubwira uti: noneho nibisobanuka uzambwire nkuhe ubutumwa nkufitiye.

7. Igikorwa nyir’izina cyo gusaba urukundo

Nyuma yo kumubaza ko afite inshuti bafitanye gahunda yo kurushinga, iyo akubwiye ko ntayo afite nibwo utera indi ntambwe ikurikiyeho yo kumusaba urukundo, ukamubwira ikifuzo cyawe ko wifuza ko akubera umufasha, ukabimubwira mu magambo meza n’imitoma myiza wahisemo kumubwira. Nyuma yo kumubwira ikifuzo cyawe, umuha byabyangombwa byo kurambagiza waje witwaje (ibaruwa isaba urukundo n’umwirondoro wawe). Ushobora no kuba utari intyoza mu magambo, ukavuga make ubundi ukamuha ibaruwa n’umwirondoro wawe ibindi akabyisomera.

8. Gutegereza igisubizo

Ugomba gusaba urukundo ntagahunda ufite yo gutahana igisubizo uwo munsi, nkuko mbere yo gusaba urukundo uba warafashe igihe cyo kubitekerezaho, ni byiza ko n’usabwa urukundo umwemerera akaguha igihe akabitekerezaho neza, agasuzuma n’ibyangombwa byawe akabona kuguha igisubizo. Igihe cyo kugusubiza mugomba kuva aho mukemeranyije kuburyo ntanumwe bibangamira.

9. Kwakira igisubizo

Iyo umunsi mwasezeranye wo guhabwa igisubizo ugeze, murongera mugahurira aho mwahisemo guhurira, ugahabwa igisubizo. Ushobora guhabwa igisubizo mu ibaruwa nkuko nawe wamwandikiye ibaruwa umusaba urukundo, ashobora no kutaguha ibaruwa akakubwira amagambo gusa bitewe n’ubushake bwe, icyo wowe uba umutegerejeho cy’ingenzi ni igisubizo araguha. Iyo igisubizo aguhaye ari „„yego’’ aba akwiye kuba yazanye n’umwirondoro we akawuguha, iyo atawuguhaye uramushimira ariko ntimutandukane utawumusabye, kuko nkuko uba waramuhaye uwawe murwego rwo kugirango akumenye bihagije, nawe uba ukwiye kubona umwirondoro we kugirango umumenye bihagije. 

Ashobora guhita awuguha cyangwa mugasezerana igihe azawuguhera ugategereza icyo gihe. Iyo igisubizo aguhaye ari „„oya’’ uburyo bwose yabikubwiramo, yaba mumagambo, yaba mu ibaruwa, ntakindi urenzaho, n’umwirondoro we si ngombwa ko awuguha, ntuzirwe unawumubaza uzakire igisubizo aguhaye kuko azaba yabitekerejeho bihagije. Ariko umwirondoro wawe wamuhaye wo agomba kuwugusubiza, kuko uriya mwirondoro ni nk’umutima wawe uba waramuhaye, niba ataguhaye urukundo rero aba agomba kuwugusubiza, niba yaje atawitwaje ugomba kuwumusaba mugahana gahunda akawugusubiza.

10. Gushimira igisubizo uhawe

Nyuma yo guhabwa igisubizo cyaba kiza cyangwa kibi ugomba gushimira, ukamushimira ko yemeye kuguha umwanya we akakwakira, akagutega amatwi ndetse agafata n’umwanya wo kugusubiza. Kuko nubwo ikifuzo cyo kubana nk’umugore n’umugabo kiba kitagezweho, urukundo n’ubushuti bisanzwe byo bigomba gukomeza.

11. Gusuzumira hamwe gahunda yo kubana

Nyuma yo guhabwa igisubizo no kwakira umwirondoro w’umukobwa, nawe uragenda ugasuzuma umwirondoro we ukareba niba koko ahuye n’ibyifuzo byawe uhereye kumwirondoro we, kuko umurambagiza umufiteho amakuru make, ariko nyuma yo kubona umwirondoro we, ugira amakuru ahagije ukaba ushobora gukomeza gahunda yo kubana nawe cyangwa ukisubiraho. Ni muri urwo rwego kumunsi wo kwakira igisubizo, iyo igisubizo aguhaye ari „„yego’’ mutandukana musezeranye igihe cyo guhura mugasuzumira hamwe gahunda yo kubana kwanyu. 

Ubwo iyo uwo munsi ugeze wowe (umusore) uza waramaze gufata icyemezo cyo gukomeza gahunda cyangwa kuyihagarika, cyangwa ubona hari ibyo murabanza kwigira hamwe mugafata umwanzuro. Umukobwa nawe aza yiteguye ko mushobora gukomeza gahunda cyangwa kuyihagarika. Uwo munsi mwembi mugomba kuza mwitwaje ya myirondoro mwahanye. Iyo igisubizo ari ugukomezanya, buri wese agumana umwirondoro wa mugenzi we nkuko yari asanzwe awubitse, maze mukavugana gahunda y’igihe mwumva mushaka kubana. Ariko iyo musanze gukomezanya bitagishobotse, buri wese asubiza undi umwirondoro we, kuko uwo mwirondoro ni nk’umutima w’undi buri wese aba abitse.

12. Gushimira ku mpande zombi

Nyuma yo gufatira hamwe umwanzuro wo gukomezanya urugendo ruganisha ku kubana nk’umugore n’umugabo, buri wese ashimira mugenzi we kubwo kumukunda n’uburyo yabyitwayemo kugeza kumunsi mubaye inshuti zitegura kurushinga. Guhera uwo munsi kandi nibwo muba mubaye inshuti zitegura kurushinga (fiancées), ku buryo umuntu yakubaza ko ufite inshuti mwitegura kurushinga ukavuga uti: ndayifite. Iyo umwanzuro mufashe ari uwo guhagarika gahunda yo kubana, nabwo murashimirana, kuko nubwo gahunda yo kubana iba idakunze, ubushuti busanzwe bwo bugomba gukomeza.

Src: dating.lovetoknow.com