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Inama 10 zafasha abakobwa n'abasore b'ubu kutishora mu mibonano mpuzabitsina mbere yo kurushinga

Yanditswe na: Nadia Kangabe
Taliki:23/03/2023 12:19
3


Muri iki gihe urubyiruko rufite ikibazo kandi kirukomereye, cyo kwishora mu mibonano mpuzabitsina rutarageza igihe cyo gushaka. Ibi bikarugiraho ingaruka mu gihe kizaza, gusa hari uburyo bwabarinda kugwa muri iyi ngeso imaze gushegesha benshi.



Kwibwira ko ari uburyo bwo kugaragarizanya urukundo ni imwe mu mpamvu ituma urubyiruko rwishora mu mibonano mpuzabitsina. Kumenya ingaruka zabyo ariko bakabikora nkana no gushukwa nabyo ni zimwe mu mpamvu zibitera. N’ubwo bimeze gutya ariko hari inama zabafasha kubyirinda.

Dore uburyo wakwirinda kwishora mu ngeso z’imibonano mpuzabitsina, mu gihe utarashaka umugabo/umugore.

1. Wimuha icyuho

Iyi ngingo ahanini ireba abakobwa. Niba mukundana si byiza na gato ko muganirira ahantu mwiherereye. Umubiri ntumenya igihe wahindukiye. Iyo mwiherereye rero uwutiza umurindi wo kugwa mu gishuko cyo kuryamana n’umuhungu mukundana. Ntabwo ubasha kwitangira. Niba ashaka ko muganira, ni byiza ariko musabe ko mwajya ahantu hatari akajagari ariko nanone hatari mu ubwiru cyane. Ni gute waganirira n’umuhungu ku buriri hanyuma ukamucika?

2. Wikwimenyereza ubusambanyi

 Ku basore, gukunda no kumva ushaka ko mwaryamana n’umukobwa mukundana ni ibisanzwe (Ufite umubiri kandi ukora neza). Ariko hari ingaruka nyinshi ushobora gukuramo kandi bitari ngombwa. Niba warakundanye n’abakobwa batandukanye hanyuma ugakenera gushaka uwo muzabana akaramata, utekereza ko agatima katazahora karehareha ukisenyera?

Uwo mukobwa mwiza se mukundana ubwiwe n’iki indwara arwaye ashobora kukwanduza, ukiyicira ubuzima bw’ejo hazaza? Numutera inda se utabiteguye uzabyifatamo ute? Hari abahungu bakubwira ko bazajya bakoresha agakingirizo. Nibyo ariko ikintu abasore n’inkumi batajya bamenya ni uko ako gakingirizo mutazagakoresha iteka. Muzagakoresha icyumweru cya mbere, ariko igikurikiyeho ntibizabashobokera.

Ushiduka musigaye mwiryamanira nk’umugabo n’umugore. Kubyirinda ni ukudaha urwaho no kudategekwa n’iriri ry’umubiri. Mugirane ibihe byiza ariko mutajya ahantu byaborohera kuryamana.

3. Ambara imyenda idashitura abasore

Ku bakobwa, nukomeza kujya wambara imyenda imwereka ibice bimushotora, ni wowe uzaba umuteye kugusaba kumuha avance (kuryamana mbere yo gushakana). Ambara imyenda iterekena ibice byawe by’ibanga. Kwambara ibisa n’ubusa sibyo bizatuma ureshya abahungu.

Ingeso nziza, umutima mwiza, ubugwaneza,..nabyo rwose byatuma ubona umugabo kandi ugukwiriye utarinze kwitesha agaciro ngo bagusambanye hanyuma bagute, bityo bityo ube nk’ingata imennye. Numenyera abagabo benshi uzubaka rukomere? Kereka niba wumva ushaka kugwa ku ishyiga cyangwa kuzubaka urutazaramba.

4. Irinde filimi z’urukozasoni

Iki kireba impande zombi. N’abakobwa nabo basigaye biherera bagateraho akajisho, kuri ubu bwoko bwa filime z’urukozasoni (Film pronographiques). Uretse ko binangiza ubwonko bwawe, zinatuma ugira ubushake burenze bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina utabiteganyije.

Zirinde nta nyungu wakuramo uretse kukongerera irari. Aho guta igihe muri izo filime zikwangiza, hari byinshi wakora bikaguteza imbere: Kuganira n’inshuti zawe ibibafitiye umumaro, gutekereza umushinga wakugeza heza, kwita ku masomo yawe, gusenga, gukina imikino inyuranye...

5. Gira intego n’icyerekezo mu buzima bwawe

Kutagira intego nabyo si byiza. Ihe intego ko uzakora imibonano mpuzabitsina wageze mu rwawe. Bimenyeshe umukobwa/umuhungu mukundana abigufashemo. Nashaka kugushuka, menya guhakana kandi ukomeje. Bizatuma abikubahira.

6. Irinde ibisindisha

Ibiyobyabwenge nabyo biri mu mpamvu zituma urubyiruko rwishora mu ngeso zo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina imburagihe. Byirinde urengere ahazaza hawe heza.

7. Wisiga Isi ngo uri mu iterambere

Iterambere risigaye rizana byinshi byiza ariko biherekejwe n’ibibi. Uko iterambere riza ni nako ryerekana ko imibonano mpuzabitsina ku rubyiruko ari ikintu gisanzwe, kandi ko buri wese akwiye kugikora. Irinde kujyana n'iterambere nk’iri, ahubwo ukurikize amarangamutima yawe.

8. Irinde bagenzi bawe bafite imico mibi

Niba bagenzi bawe wita inshuti bagushishikariza bakanakwereka ibyiza biri mu mibonano mpuzabitsina, birinde ushake abandi bakujyana aheza. Inshuti mbi ishobora kuguta ahantu utazapfa wikuye. Ingendo y’undi iravuna, kandi baca umugani mu Kinyarwanda ngo ihene mbi ntawe uyizirikaho inziza.

9. Uzirikane Gusenga

Gusenga kenshi birafasha. Nuba uri wa muntu ukunda kujya no kwitabira amasengesho mu idini iryo ariryo ryose, bizagufasha kwirinda ingeso z’ubusambanyi. Igihe ibishuko bigusatiriye senga, usabe imbaraga Imana izakumva. Ubusambanyi buri mu byaha birindwi Imana yanga urunuka. Inyigisho zitangwa mu nsengero, zizajya zikwibutsa ko gusambana ari icyaha bityo ucyirinde.

10. Gereranya ingaruka wahura nazo n’ibyishimo 

Imibonano mpuzabitsina umuhungu/umukobwa akoze mbere y’uko ashinze urugo, ashobora kuyivanamo ingaruka. SIDA iri hanze aha iravuza ubuhuha, gutwara/gutera inda zitateganyijwe, guhinduka imbata y’ubusambanyi, Kwihakanwa baguteye inda, Kugerekwaho inda itari iyawe...

Ingaruka zirimo ni nyinshi. Shyira ku munzani upime urebe aho ufite inyungu nyinshi. Niwibaza kuri izi ngaruka, ukareba bagenzi bawe bagiye bahura n’ibibazo binyuranye kubera kwishora mu mibonano mpuzabitsina imburagihe, ni wowe uzafata umwanzuro w’icyo ukwiriye gukora.

Niba wajyaga wibaza uko wabigenza ngo uhangane n'ingeso y'ubusambanyi yugarije urubyiruko, izi ni zimwe mu nama zabigufashamo.






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  • ni jacqueline1 year ago
    Murakoze cyane imana ibahe umugisha mwinshi! izi nama ziramfashije cyanee pe mukomereze ahoo rwose.
  • habumugishadesire4 months ago
    Murakoze muzatubwire ibiranga umuntu udasambana murakoze
  • Muhorakeye1 month ago
    Urakoze





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