Amarenga 7 wakora ukigarurira umutima w’umuntu byoroshye

Mu gitabo Leil Lowndes yise “How to taltk to anyone” ugenekereje mu Kinyarwanda birasobanuye ngo “Uko wavugisha uwo ari we wese”, agaragaza ko umuntu ashobora kwigarurira umutima w’undi mu kanya gato atavuze ijambo na rimwe ahubwo kubera imvugo z’amarenga.

Hagendewe ku bivugwa muri icyo gitabo, dore amwe mu marenga wakoresha bigatuma umuntu agukunda byihuse.

1. Inseko nziza

Uyu mugabo Lowndes agaragaza ko atari byiza gusekera umuntu ukimusuhuza ako kanya; ngo iyo ubikoze bishobora guha amahirwe n’abandi bari aho bakamenya icyo ugambiriye. Uburyo bwiza bwo gutwara umuntu ukoresheje inseko ni ukwitonda, ukamureba mu maso nk’isegonda hanyuma ukareka mu maso hawe hagataha umucyo ukamusekera inseko nziza, bimwe Abanyarwanda bavuga ngo “Araseka amasaro agaseseka”.

N’ubwo iyo nseko itamara amasegonda menshi, izemeza uwo muntu ko koko ari we igenewe. Ku bwa Lowndes ngo inseko nziza ishobora kukongerera ubutunzi n’icyizere abantu bakugirira.

2. Reba mu maso uwo muvugana

Igihe uvugana n’umuntu, mera nk’aho amaso yawe amuteyeho, kabone n’ubwo yaba yarangije kuvuga. Niba wumva ushaka kuba wareba ku ruhande bikore witonze kandi gahoro, kugeza igihe amaso yanyu atandukaniye. Ushobora no kugerageza kubara inshuro uwo muri kuvugana ahumbya kugira ngo utamukuraho amaso. Ibi byagaragaje ko ababikora bakundwa cyane na bagenzi babo.

3. Gutumbera umuntu

Iyo uri mu bantu benshi, ku bw’amahirwe ushobora kubona umuntu ukumva uramwishimiye, murebe umutumbere utitaye ku muntu uri kuvuga. Iyo umurebye cyane n’ubwo yaba ari kumva ibivugwa, ahita abona neza ko umwitayeho birenze cyangwa se wamwishimiye. Gusa ugomba kumenya ko gutumbera umuntu cyane bishobora kumutera isoni mu bandi. Ugomba kureba uvuga ariko yaba atari kuvuga ingingo zikomeye ugatumbera umwe wishimiye.

4. Garagaza urukundo nk’urwo ugaragaza ku mwana muto

Abantu bose bita cyane ku buryo bitwara iyo bahuye n’abandi bwa mbere. Iyo uhuye n’umuntu bwa mbere igire nk’aho ubonye akana gato gateye amabengeza umugaragarize urukundo rutagabanyije, mbese nk’urwo waha akana gato kaje gakambakamba kakuririra ku birenge byawe.

Urugero: Ushobora kubwira umuntu muhuye bwa mbere uti “Yo! Uri igitangaza”.

5. Gabanya ubukubaganyi no kwikorakoraho

Niba wifuza ko abantu bakugirira icyizere, gerageza kugaragaza kudakubagana cyane igihe uganira nabo. Tuza, wigira ubwoba, wizenguruka cyane cyangwa ngo ushishure/ ushwanyaguze ikintu ufite.

Lowndes avuga ko gukomeza kwikorakoraho nko mu maso, ku zuru, ku kananwa, ku munwa n’ahandi bishobora gutuma batekeraza ko ushobora kuba uri kubabeshya cyangwa utifitiye icyizere. Gerageza kureba uwo muvugana umugaragarize ko ibyo uri kumubwira ubishyizeho umutima kandi ubifite mu biganza byawe.

6. Irinde kuzinga umunya

Uburyo wifata mu bantu ni yo ntsinzi ya mbere. Irinde kuzinga umunya mu maso uhorane isura icyeye. Uko winjiye mu muryango jya utunguka ku bo usanze ucyeye mu maso.

7. Ifate nk’aho ari inshuti yawe

Nuhura n’umuntu bwa mbere, ifate nk’aho ari inshuti yawe ya kera, ibi bituma ibyiyumvo byawe kuri we byiyongera kuva ku ndoro yawe kugeza ku mano, umutima wawe witwara nk’aho ari inshuti yawe koko bikagufasha gukurura amarangamutima ye kubera uko uri kumwitwaraho. Icyiyongera kuri ibi ni uko iyo ukoze nk’aho wakunze umuntu, bisa nk’aho bibaye impamo muri wowe ugasanga koko watangiye kumukunda.

Nugerageza gukoresha amarenga, ukirinda kuvuga menshi, ushobora gusekerwa n’amahirwe yo kubona urukundo wifuzaga kuva kera.