Impamvu bamwe mu bakobwa bakunda kujya mu rukundo n’abagabo bakuze

Psychology Today yakoze Ubushakashatsi bugamije kumenya impamvu usanga abakobwa benshi bakunda abagabo bakuze, ndetse bikaba biri kugenda byiyongera ku bwinshi muri iki gihe. 

Bagiye bakorera ubu bushakashatsi ku bantu batandukanye, bibanda ku bakobwa bakunda abagabo bakuze, kugira ngo bumve ibitekerezo byabo kuri ibi, ndetse banakurikije ibivugwa n'abaganga mu by'imibanire.

Ibi ntibikunze kuvugwaho rumwe mu muryango nyarwanda, aho bamwe bavuga ko ntacyo bitwaye, kandi ko icya mbere ari urukundo, abandi bakavuga ko bidakwitiye ko umwana yabana n'umuntu wakabaye umubyeyi we.

Ariko se, ni iki gituma bamwe mu bakobwa bahitamo kujya mu rukundo n’abagabo bakuze? Ni ukubera urukundo cyangwa ni amahitamo yabo bwite? Ese hari ikindi baba bakurikiyeho nk'amagaranga nk'uko bamwe babivuga, cyangwa baba bakundana nk'abandi bose?

Ku bagore nka Caren w’imyaka 32 waganiriye na Psychology Today avuga ko imyaka ari umubare gusa. Akunda abagabo bakuru ndetse bamuruta kure. 

Yagize ati: "Umugabo wa mbere nakundanye na we yandushaga imyaka 10, yari umugabo ufite umugore. Nakundaga uwo mugabo kandi umubano twagiranye wari mwiza, byari byiza rwose." 

Avuga ko yagerageje kenshi gukundana n'abo bari mu kigero kimwe, gusa agasanga abagabo bakuru ari bo beza, ngo bagira urukundo, bita ku bakunzi babo, ndetse baba bafite n'amafaranga.

Abakobwa benshi bavuga ko gukundana n'abagabo bakuze atari ukubera gusa kubakurikiraho amafaranga, ahubwo ngo usanga abagabo bakuze baba bazi no gukunda, ngo kuko ataba ari ubwa mbere bakunze, ndetse abenshi baba bafite abagore.

Prisca we yabwiye Psychology Today ko n'ubwo urukundo rwabo rutaba rwizewe ko ruzaramba, ngo gusa we abona nta kibi kirurimo, mu magambo make yagize ati "Rimwe na rimwe, abagabo nk’aba baza mu buzima bwacu kugira ngo batwuzuze."

Umukobwa w’imyaka 25 witwa Zawadi we avuga ko, ubwenge ari kimwe mu bintu bimukurura ku bagabo bakuru. 

Yagize ati: "Abagore bakura vuba kurusha abagabo mu buryo bw'imitekerereza. Sinumva ko nakwishimira kugira umugabo mbona nk’umwana cyangwa murusha ibitekerezo. Mba nshaka ko amfasha kunoza imitekerereze, ndetse no mu bindi byinshi."

Ubu bushakashatsi kandi, bwagarutse ku bitekerezo by'abahanga mu by'imibanire aho bagaragaza ko mu rukundo icy'ingenzi ari ukubahana, ubufatanye, no kuzuzanya, banagaragaza ko kubana n'umuntu mutari mu kiro kimwe bishobora kugorana kuko mutaba munganya ibitekerezo, ndetse akenshi usanga bafite imyumvure itandukanye.