Tems yabigarutseho mu kiganiro yagiranye n’umunyamakuru Angie Martinez, aho
yasobanuye ko hari igihe umuntu ashobora kwibwira ko ari mu rukundo nyamara ari
mu mubano udashobotse (toxic relationship).
Uyu
muhanzikazi ukunzwe mu ndirimbo zirimo ‘Essence’, yavuze ko yigeze kujya mu
rukundo n’umuntu wamugaragarizaga imyitwarire yo kumugenzura no kumwiharira,
ibintu byanyuranyaga n’imyumvire ye ku rukundo nyakuri.
Yagize
ati: “Nigeze kugira urukundo natekerezaga ko ari urukundo nyarwo, ariko ahubwo
byari bimeze nko kuba hari umuntu ushaka kukwigarurira wese, akumva ko
akufiteho uburenganzira.”
Tems
asobanura ko kuri we urukundo nyarwo rutari ukwiharira undi muntu cyangwa
kumufata nk’umutungo wawe, ahubwo ari ubufatanye bw’abantu babiri bubakiye ku
bwubahane no kwizerana.
Ati:
“Urukundo si ukwikunda gukabije cyangwa ukwiharira undi. Nta muntu n’umwe
ushobora gutunga undi. Urukundo ni igihe abantu babiri baba umwe mu buryo
bw’imibanire, ariko buri wese akagumana ubwigenge bwe.”
Yakomeje
avuga ko imwe mu mpamvu zituma imibanire mibi igora kuyivamo ari uko akenshi
umuntu uyirimo ashobora no kutamenya ko ari we ufite ikibazo.
Ati:
“Akenshi abantu bagira imyitwarire mibi mu rukundo batabizi. Bashobora
kukubwira ko bagukunda, nyamara mu by’ukuri batakumenya cyangwa batazi icyo
urukundo ari cyo, kuko nta muntu wakunda undi yumva ko amufiteho
uburenganzira.”
Tems
yasoje agaragaza ko abantu benshi banyuze mu rukundo rufite ibibazo nk’ibi, aho
usanga hari abitiranya gukunda no kwiharira undi muntu.
Iyi
mvugo ye ije yibutsa benshi ko urukundo ruzira ukwikubira ruba rushingiye ku
bwubahane, ubwigenge n’ubufatanye, aho buri wese yemera undi uko ari, aho
kumufata nk’aho ari uwe wenyine.
Tems
yagaragaje uko yigeze kuba mu rukundo rwarimo ibikomere