Hari amakosa umuntu akora mu rukundo agatekereza ko azihanganirwa cyangwa ko atazamenyekana. Ariko iyo ukuri kugiye hanze, ibintu bihinduka mu kanya gato nk’ako guhumbya. Icyizere kirasenyuka, agahinda, umwuka mubi, ndetse n’amakimbirane akubura umutwe.
Gucana inyuma ni kimwe mu bintu bibabaza cyane mu rukundo. Kuko bitica amarangamuti gusa, ahubwo binica icyizere. Nyamara hari abantu benshi bicuza nyuma yo gukora ayo makosa, bakumva bagikunda uwo bahemukiye kandi bifuza kongera kubaka icyizere basenye.
Mu gutegura iyi nkuru twifashishije inyandiko yasohotse mu kinyamakuru WikiHow, igaragaza uko wakwitwara mu gihe ushaka kugarura icyizere umukunzi wawe yagutakarije kubera kumuca inyuma.
Niba nawe uri kwibaza uti: “Nakora iki kugira ngo
angarukire?” dore ibintu byagufasha.
1. Emera ko wakoze ikosa
Ikosa rya mbere abantu benshi bakora ni ukwirwanaho cyane cyangwa gushaka impamvu zo kwisobanura. Kuvuga ngo: “Nawe ntiwampaga umwanya uhagije.”, “Byabaye kubw’impanuka.”, “Wararakaye cyane urakabya, ntan’ubwo byari birenze.”, n’ibindi, ntabwo bikemura ikibazo, ahubwo bituma kirushaho gukomera.
Iyo ugerageje kwigira umwere, ugaragaza ko hari impamvu zifatika zabigukoresheje, uba uri gutuma uwo wahemukiye abona ko utumva uburemere bw’ibyo wakoze. Niba ushaka ko yongera kukwizera, tangira wemera ikosa ryawe nta rwitwazo.
Ushobora kumubwira uti “Ndabizi ko naguhemukiye kandi nta mpamvu n’imwe ifatika nari mfite yo kubikora. Ndagusaba imbabazi.” Ibi rwose bizatuma abasha kumva ko nawe ubabajwe n’agahinda wamuteye, kuruta uko wari kuza umwihenuraho, wiregura.
2. Muhe umwanya
Iyo umukunzi wawe umuciye inyuma, agira uburakari, agahinda, ndetse icyizere yari agufitiye kikayoyoka, keretse aramutse atagukunda by’ukuri. Hari n’igihe ashobora kukujya kure, cyangwa akanga no kukuvugisha burundu.
Si byiza
kwihutisha ibintu ngo ushake ko bisubira uko byari bimeze ako kanya. Gukira ibikomere
byo ku mutima bisaba igihe. Rimwe na rimwe gukunda umuntu bigendana no kwemera
kumuha umwanya wo gutuza, no gutekereza ku hyamubayeho, maze agafata umwanzuro
yitonze.
3. Mwereke ko wicuza by’ukuri
Kwicuza si amagambo gusa, ahubwo bigaragarira no mu myitwarire. Niba koko ushaka kongera kubaka urukundo rwanyu, irinde kongera kumubeshya, umubere inyangamugayo, umwereke ko ibyo wakoze wabikuyemo isomo, kandi ko utazongera, byongeye kandi ugomba no kwirinda ibyatuma yongera kugushidikanyaho.
Iyo icyizere
cyasenyutse, kongera kucyubaka bisaba ibikorwa byinshi kurusha amagambo, ni
byiza rero kwita ku bikorwa byawe, wirinda ko hari icyatuma yongera kugukemanga.
4. Ntumuhatire kukugarukira
Iyo umuntu agukunze cyane, wowe ukabirengaho ukamubabaza, hari igihe afata umwanzuro wo kukwikuramo kugira ngo yirinde kongera kubabara. Niba agusabye umwanya cyangwa akakwihorera burundu, ntumuteshe umutwe uhora umuhamagara, ujya kumureba cyangwa uhora umusaba imbabazi buri munota.
Kumuhatira kukugarukira bishobora gutuma arushaho kukwanga no gukomeza kwibuka ibyo wamukoreye. Niba atagushaka mu buzima bwe, icyiza ni ukwemera urwaje, ukirengera ingaruka z’amakosa yawe, ahu guhora ujya kumutesha umutwe.
5. Ibaze impamvu byabaye
Mbere yo gusaba imbabazi, no gushaka kongera gukundana nawe, banza wisuzume: wibaze uti “Kuki namuciye inyuma? Nabitewe n’iki? Ese narahindutse sinzabyongera?”
Kwigira ku makosa yawe ni byo bizagufasha kutazongera kugwa mu ikosa rimwe. Niba rero utarabasha kumenya impamvu wamuciye inyuma, ukaba autazi niba warahindutse koko, n’ubundi isaha n’isaha akubabariye, wazongera ukabikora. Banza wisuzume ku giti cyawe mbere yo kujya gusaba imbabazi.
6. Emera ko ashobora kutakugarukira
Iki ni ikibazo gikomeye abantu benshi batemera. N’ubwo wakwicuza gute, ugasaba imbabazi, ugatakamba, uwo waciye inyuma uba waramubabaje bidasubirwaho. Kukugarukira rero biri kure cyane, icyiza rero, ni ukumenya neza ko ashobora guhitamo kutakugarukira.
Ntibivuze ko utakigukunda cyangwa ko nta gaciro ufite imbere ye. Bivuze gusa ko hari ibikomere biba byararenze ubushobozi bwe bwo kongera kukwizera, bityo agahitamo amahoro n’ubuzima bwe bwo mu mutwe kuruta urukundo rumujagaraza.
Ariko niba koko mugikundana kandi ukagaragaza impinduka nyazo, hari igihe urukundo rushobora kongera kubaho, akakubabarira.
Gucana inyuma bishobora gusenya ibintu byafasheimayaka n’imyaniko. Ariko kwicuza nyakuri, ukwemera amakosa no guhinduka bishobora gufasha umuntu kongera kuba uwo kwizerwa.
Niba ukimukunda by’ukuri, ntugahore umuza imbere n’amarira gusa. Mwereke impinduka. Kuko amagambo ashobora gusaba imbabazi, ariko ibikorwa ni byo byubaka icyizere cyasenyutse.