Ni ingenzi kwigisha abana kwirinda ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina bakiri bato

Ibi bije mu gihe muri uku kwezi abagore babiri bavuze ko bakorewe ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina mu mazu y’amatsinda y’abanyeshuri b’abahungu, azwi nka fraternities, hafi ya Kaminuza ya Chicago muri Leta Zunze Ubumwe za Amerika. Ibi byiyongera ku bindi birego bisa byavuzwe muri Kaminuza ya Arizona na Kaminuza ya Cornell.

Raporo y’ishyirahamwe ry’amakaminuza yo muri Amerika (Association of American Universities), yavuguruwe muri 2020, igaragaza ko impuzandengo ya 26% by’abakobwa n’abagore na hafi 7% by’abahungu n’abagabo banyura muri kaminuza bahatirizwa gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina cyangwa ibindi bikorwa bifitanye isano na yo. Iyi mibare igaragaza uburemere bw’iki kibazo n’impamvu hakenewe ingamba zo kukirwanya.

Nubwo amakaminuza n’izindi nzego z’uburezi zifite inshingano zo gukumira ibyo byaha, ababyeyi na bo bashobora kugira uruhare mu kubikumira baganiriza abana babo ku mugaragaro kandi mu buryo busobanutse.

Lindsay Lieberman, umunyamategeko ukorera i Washington, DC, ukora ku manza zijyanye n’ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina, avuga ko ibiganiro nk’ibi bitagomba gutangira ari uko umwana agiye kwiga muri kaminuza. Ahubwo, kuva akiri muto, akwiye kwigishwa kubaha abandi no kumva ko afite uburenganzira ku mubiri we.

1. Kwigisha urubyiruko kubaka imibanire ishingiye ku bwubahane

Abana b’ingeri zose bakwiye kwigishwa kumenya abo bagiye kugirana na bo umubano wihariye, kububaha no kwirinda imibanire ishingiye ku gahato.

Lieberman avuga ko guhura n’umuntu rimwe gusa hagamijwe kugirana na we imibonano mpuzabitsina bishobora gutera urujijo no kutumvikana, cyane cyane iyo abantu bataramenyana bihagije.

Ni ngombwa kandi kwigisha abakobwa n’abagore ko badakwiye gushyira imbere gushimisha abandi ngo birengagize ibyifuzo byabo. Bafite uburenganzira bwo kuvuga ko badashaka gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, ndetse bashobora no guhindura icyemezo bari bafashe mbere.

Umuntu wese akwiye kumva ko kuvuga “oya” bidakwiye kumutera ipfunwe cyangwa kumva ko yakoze amakosa.

Abanyeshuri kandi bakwiye gusobanurirwa ko mbere yo kugirana n’umuntu imibonano mpuzabitsina, bagomba kubanza kumenya neza ko abyemeye ku bushake bwe, nta gahato cyangwa igitutu.

Umuntu wasinze cyane cyangwa wabaswe n’ibiyobyabwenge ashobora kutabasha gufata icyemezo cyumvikana neza. Bityo, kuba umuntu atanze igisubizo runaka ari muri iyo mimerere ntibihita bisobanura ko yemeye mu buryo bwuzuye.

Lieberman ashimangira ko iyo umuntu avuze ko atabyifuza, cyangwa akabigaragaza mu bundi buryo, mugenzi we agomba kubyubaha. Gukomeza kumwinginga, kumushyiraho igitutu cyangwa kumuhatira kwemera kugeza yemeye kubera kunanirwa kurwanya igitutu si ukwemeranya ku bushake.

2. Kwirinda ihohoterwa mu birori n’ahateranira abanyeshuri

Ababyeyi bakwiye no kwigisha abana babo uko bitwara mu birori n’ahandi hantu hateranira abantu benshi, kugira ngo birinde ibyabashyira mu kaga kandi bafashe abandi igihe babonye bari mu bibazo.

Inkuru ya CNN ivuga ko ubushakashatsi bumwe bwerekanye ko mu matsinda amwe y’abanyeshuri b’abahungu, azwi nka fraternities, hagaragara ibikorwa byinshi by’ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina ugereranyije n’abandi banyeshuri batari muri ayo matsinda. Ibi bishobora kuba bifitanye isano n’igitutu cyo gukurikiza imyumvire imwe y’ubugabo no gufata abagore nk’ibikoresho byo kwinezeza.

Abanyeshuri bakwiye guhitamo aho biyumvamo umutekano, kandi bakamenya ko bashobora kwanga kujya mu birori cyangwa ahantu babona hashobora kubashyira mu kaga.

Mbere yo kujya mu birori, ni byiza ko abanyeshuri bajyana na bagenzi babo bumvikanye ku buryo buri wese aza kwitwara no ku cyo bakora mu gihe hagize ugira ikibazo. Bashobora no kumvikana ko batazasiga mugenzi wabo inyuma, cyane cyane iyo yanyoye inzoga nyinshi cyangwa atangiye kugaragaza ibimenyetso byo kuremba.

Lieberman avuga ko inshuti zikwiye kuganira mbere ku migambi zifite, cyane cyane nko kumvikana ko zigaruka aho ziba kandi zikarara mu buriri bwazo, aho kugira ngo hagire ujyana n’umuntu atazi mu buryo bushobora kumushyira mu kaga.

Ikindi, abanyeshuri bakwiye kwita ku bandi. Iyo babonye umuntu wasinze cyane ku buryo adashobora gufata icyemezo cyumvikana neza agiye kuva mu birori ajyanye n’umuntu atazi, bashobora gutabara mu buryo butekanye, bakamuherekeza cyangwa bagasaba ubufasha bw’abandi.

Ni na byiza kugenzura uko inshuti zimeze igihe zasinze cyane, zisa n’izayobewe aho ziri cyangwa zitangiye kwitwara mu buryo budasanzwe. Iyo umuntu abonye mugenzi we asa n’utishimiye uburyo undi amwegera, amukoraho cyangwa amuganiriza, akwiye kumwegera akamubaza niba ameze neza.

3. Kwemera no gushyigikira abahuye n’ihohoterwa

Iyo umuntu abwiye mugenzi we ko yakorewe ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina, akwiye kumutega amatwi, kumufasha no kwirinda kumucira urubanza.

Ibi birego bijyanye n’ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina ni bike cyane ugereranyije n’ibirego bitangwa. Gushidikanya ku muntu wahishuye ko yahohotewe cyangwa kumushinja ko ari we wabiteye bishobora kongera ububabare ndetse n’ingaruka ahura nazo.

Ahubwo, inshuti cyangwa undi muntu ubimenye akwiye kumufasha gusobanukirwa amahitamo afite, akamureka akifatira icyemezo ku cyo ashaka gukora.

Mu mahitamo ashobora kugira harimo gutanga ikirego kuri polisi cyangwa ku buyobozi bw’ikigo yigamo, kugisha inama umunyamategeko cyangwa kubiganiriza umubyeyi n’undi muntu yizeye.

Ni ngombwa ko umuntu wahohotewe ahabwa ubufasha n’amakuru amufasha gufata icyemezo, aho guhatirwa gukora ikintu runaka cyangwa gucibwa intege.

Kujya muri kaminuza ntibisobanuye gusa kwiga amasomo no gutsinda ibizamini. Abanyeshuri bakwiye no kugira ubumenyi bubafasha kurinda ubuzima bwabo, kubaha abandi no kumenya uko bakwitwara igihe bahuye n’ihohoterwa.

Ababyeyi, abarimu n’ubuyobozi bw’amakaminuza bafite uruhare mu kwigisha urubyiruko ko umubiri wa buri muntu ugomba kubahwa, ko nta muntu ukwiye guhatirwa imibonano mpuzabitsina, kandi ko kubaha icyemezo cy’undi ari ingenzi mu mibanire myiza.

Ibiganiro bitangira abana bakiri bato kandi bigakomeza uko bakura bishobora kubafasha kumenya uburenganzira bwabo, kwirinda ibibazo no gutabara bagenzi babo igihe babonye bari mu kaga.