Uwari igitabo cy’imigani na cyo cyari gishaje ndetse
gifatwa nk’icya kera nta gaciro na gato gifite, yaje kuvamo igitabo gishya buri
mpapuro zihinduka nshya. Mu nkuru y’uyu mugabo urumvamo agahinda yahoranye n’ibyishimo
yaje kugira nyuma, bikaba isomo mu rukundo, wige gukunda ugukunda utazemera
kuguta uko yiboneye.
Urukundo! Ubundi igitabo cy’inkuru za kera kandi
gishaje pe, ndetse n’amwe mu mapaji yari angize yaratwitswe, atwikwa n’abana
asigaye ajugunywa hanze arakandagirwa. Iteka ryose numvaga ko nta muntu n'umwe
wifuza kumfungura ngo asome imirongo yari muri njye, kuko nari nk’uwaturutse mu
binyejana byashize nzengurutswe n’umukungugu n’inzu z’udusimba twarika
mu nzu. Maze imyaka myinshi hano ariko mukundwa nta n'umwe wigeze yifuza kumfungura
narimwe ku buryo nari nzi neza ko nzatabwa iteka nkazimira. Nari nzi ko n’iyi nzu y’ibitabo
nihishemo nayo izatwikwa ikavanwaho burundu.
Gusa naje gutungurwa cyane, natunguwe n’igihe
nakubonaga uhingutse uri imbere yanjye maze umfata akaboko unkura mu buvumo
nari mazemo imyaka. Uburyo wandebaga amaso yawe yuzuye imbabazi n’urukundo
rwinshi ndetse ukanarizwa n’uburyo wambonaga byangumyemo kugeza n’ubu.
Mukundwa urimo kunsoma nk'aho ari njye gitabo cyawe
ukunda cyane ku isi, nk’aho ari njye warimo ushakisha warabuze, nk’aho ari njye
wifuzaga ubuzima bwawe bwose. Mukundwa usoma buri mutwe wose ungize ntujya
usimbuka n’udutangaro, kwihangana ntujya ubishobora iyo unsomye ukagera aho
kubabara kwanjye kuri ntiwifata nawe amarira ahita yuzura mu maso hawe. Ndakuzi
nawe wifuzaga uzagukunda gusa aho wankuye natewe ubwoba n’uko ntazashobora kukwitaho nk’uko bikwiye. Nk’uko wabikoze ukampa umutima wawe ukampa ibyawe
ntiwite ku munuko nari mfite uko nasaga,…
Twamaranye amezi ariko ampindukira imyaka kuko
ntatekerezaga uburyo nzitwara nimpura n’umuntu uzemera kumbika mu nzu ye
akanshyira mu nzu ye y’ibitabo imeze neza kandi akanyitaho. Nyizera nimvuga ko
ibi biri kumbera inzozi ubifate nk’ukuri kuko nazimiye, mfite ubwoba bwo gukundwa
bigeze aha. Hari ubwo nibaza niba koko utagiye guhita unta kubera uburyo unyitaho
ariko ibikorwa byawe bikankomeza.
Burya buri kintu cyose gishaje kiba cyarigeze kuba
gishya. Kera nkiri mushya narimo amagambo y’umugabo witwa Stephan (Relationship
Coach) yagiraga ati " Uzajye mu rukundo n’umuntu ugushaka apana uwo
ushaka. Uzakunde umuntu ukumva akagusaba imbabazi yakosheje. Uzakunde umuntu
ugufasha muri byose, akakuyobora akaguha n’icyizere". Nkimara kukubona
wari wujuje buri nteruro yose iri muri ayo magambo. Ubu ndi mushya, ubu nasubiye
aho nahoze mu maboko meza yawe, mu rukundo ntazicuza.
Iteka natekerezaga ko abantu bose bakandagira ibyo
basanze babifata nk’ibibi ariko wowe wanyeretse ko urukundo rw’ukuri ruhari
kandi rutajya ruva ku izima.’Nari njyenyine wo gupfa’.Ku kubura by’isegonda
rimwe ni nko gukubitwa inkoni z’imyaka yose namaze njyenyine, ni nko gutonekwa
aho nakomeretse, sinshaka kukubura ndashaka ko umba hafi by’iteka. Nzi neza
ko unkunda kandi nzakora uko nshoboye nkwiture urukundo unkunda.
ISOMO: Mu rukundo ni byiza guhitamo neza ugahitamo uzagukunda cyane, ugahitamo aho ibyishimo byawe bizaba byuzuye. Stephan Speaks yaragize ati "Ntuzatume kuba uri wenyine bigushora mu rukundo n’umuntu mubi cyane (Toxic Person), kuko ushobora kuzisanga wanyoye ku burozi bwica kubera ko witwaye nk'ufite inyota ".
Kuba wenyine ntibigatume ukundana n’umuntu mubi. Guma wenyine biraguhagije. Niba umuntu agukunda koko uzabibona. Urukundo rw’ukuri ntirupimirwa ku munzani ahubwo umuntu mubanye ugukunda mugenzuze ibikorwa bye. Ese arahinduka, Ese azi guca bugufi ku tuntu duto, Ese akwereka kukwitaho koko?. Uzemera kugufata uko uri nk’uko kiriya gitabo bagifashe uzamunambeho ni wo wawe.