Hari abantu usanga ijambo “mbabarira” ryabaye igice cy’ubuzima bwabo, buri gihe basaba imbabazi n’ubwo ari bo babangamiwe. Ugasanga umuntu ni we ugukandagiye ariko ukamusaba imbabazi. Abashakashatsi bavuga ko iyo myitwarire akenshi iba yarakomotse ku buzima umuntu yabayemo akiri muto.
Mu rwego rwa Psychology, ibi byitwa “emotional parentification”, bivuga igihe umwana afata inshingano zo kwita ku marangamutima y’abavandimwe babo, ababyeyi cyangwa abantu bo mu rugo iwabo mbere y’uko aba mukuru bihagije.
Aba bana bakura bumva ko bagomba guhora bagenzura uko abandi bantu bameze, bakamenya niba bafite umujinya cyangwa bababaye, ndetse bagakoresha gusaba imbabazi nk’uburyo bwo kugerageza kugarura amahoro mu rugo.
Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe mu mwaka wa 2023 bugasohoka mu kinyamakuru mpuzamahanga cyiga ku bidukikije n’ubuzima, bwasesenguye inyigo 95 zakozwe ku migabane itandatu y’Isi, bwagaragaje ko abana bakurira muri ubu buzima bahura n’ingaruka zirimo agahinda gakabije, imihangayiko, ibibazo by’imyitwarire ndetse n’ihungabana rishobora gukomeza no mu buzima bwabo bw’igihe kirekire.
Abashakashatsi bavuga ko aba bana baba baramenyereye ko gusaba imbabazi ari bwo buryo bwihuse bwo kugarura umutekano. Nubwo baba nta kosa bakoze, basaba imbabazi kugira ngo berekane ko bumvise ikibazo kiri mu rugo cyangwa kugira ngo bahoshe umwuka mubi.
Iyo bamaze gukura, iyi myitwarire ntishira ahubwo ihindura gusa uburyo igaragaramo. Umuntu wakuraga ahora yitegereza uko umubyeyi we ameze, anasaba imbabazi buri kanya, ashobora kubikomeza no mu kazi cyangwa mu mibanire ye ya buri munsi, ahora yitwararika cyane uko abandi bamerewe ndetse akihutira gusaba imbabazi mbere yo no gutekereza niba hari icyaha yakoze.
Aha ni nk’igihe uzasanga umuntu yiyicariye, undi yamukandagira akaba ariwe usaba imbabaz, gusaba imbabazi igihe undi muntu amubwiye nabi, cyangwa no gusaba imbabazi mbere yo gusaba ubufasha kandi abifitiye uburenganzira.
Abahanga bavuga ko ibi atari ikinyabupfura gisanzwe, ahubwo ari uburyo ubwonko bwize bwo gushaka umutekano bwakomotse mu bwana.
Ubushakashatsi bwakorewe mu Buyapani mu mwaka wa 2023 bwagaragaje ko abantu bitaga cyane ku marangamutima y’ababyeyi babo bakiri bato, bafite amahirwe arenze inshuro eshatu yo kugira ibibazo bikomeye by’ihungabana cyangwa imihangayiko bamaze gukura.
Abashakashatsi bavuga kandi ko iyi myitwarire ishobora gukomoka ku bibazo bitandukanye birimo uburwayi bw’ababyeyi, ababyeyi bakanira abana babo cyane, ibibazo byo mu mutwe, gutandukana kw’imiryango, ubukene cyangwa ibihe bikomeye umuryango wanyuzemo.
Icyakora abahanga bavuga ko iyi myitwarire ishobora guhinduka mu gihe umuntu atangiye kwibaza mbere yo gusaba imbabazi ati: “Ese mfite ikosa koko?”
Kumenya ko umuntu atagomba kwikorera inshingano z’amarangamutima y’abandi ni imwe mu ntambwe zifasha benshi kuva muri uwo muco wo guhora basaba imbabazi nta kosa bafite.
Abahanga kandi bavuga ko gusaba imbabazi bidafite ishingiro atari kamere ya muntu, ahubwo ari imyitwarire yize bitewe n’ubuzima yabayemo, kandi ishobora no guhinduka buhoro buhoro igihe umuntu atangiye kubimenya no kubyitaho.