Mu bihe byashize, ababyeyi benshi
babaga bizeye ko umwana yakura yisanzuye, agatsindwa agahinduka, akababarira,
akigira ku makosa. Ariko mu gihe tugezemo, hari ababyeyi bitwara nk’indege ya
kajugujugu (helicopter), bazenguruka ubuzima bw’umwana wabo bakaba nta mwanya
bamuhaye wo kwigira, kwifatira bimwe mu byemezo, gukura no kwihugura.
Iyi myitwarire yiswe “Helicopter
Parenting” igaragara cyane mu miryango itinya ko abana babo bazahura n’akaga,
cyangwa kuba batagera ku byo bateganyirijwe. Nubwo intego y’iyi mirerere iba ari
nziza, iyo bigeze ku rugero runini bikabije, bifite ingaruka zikomeye ku
mikurire y’umwana.
Ibisobanuro
bya “Helicopter Parenting”
"Helicopter parenting"
ni uburyo bwo kurera aho umubyeyi ahora yinjira cyane mu buzima bwose bw’umwana, akamufatira ibyemezo, akamurwanirira buri kantu, akanamurinda
ibigeragezo byose.
Umwana ntabwo ahabwa amahirwe yo
guhitamo, gukora amakosa, cyangwa kumenya uko yakwigira ku bibazo, imbogamizi
cyangwa ibigeragezo by’ubuzima. Ibi bituma umwana akura atigenga, afite ubwoba
bwo gutsindwa, kandi atamenyereye ubuzima busanzwe burimo ibigeragezo n’ibibazo
n’ubushake bwo kubikemura.
Ibimenyetso
by’ingenzi bya “Helicopter Parenting”:
l Kurengera umwana birenze urugero:
Umubyeyi agerageza kumurinda ikintu cyose cyamubabaza, kumutsinda cyangwa
guhangana n’akaga, n’ubwo ibyo ari bimwe mu bituma akura neza.
l Kwivanga cyane mu buzima
bw’umwana: Umubyeyi ahora amugenzura mu mashuri, inshuti ze, imikino cyangwa
ibikorwa byo hanze y’ishuri, ndetse akanamufatira ibyemezo nk’umuntu mukuru.
l Kuyobora umwana muri buri kantu:
Umubyeyi afatira umwana ibyemezo byose, akamukemurira ibibazo, akanamwinjirira
mu bibazo adahaye umwanya wo kubyikemurira.
l Kudaha umwana icyizere: Umubyeyi
yibwira ko umwana adashobora kwifasha, bikaba intandaro yo kumwigarurira byose.
Ingero
zigaragaza Helicopter Parenting:
l Umubyeyi uhora ahamagara umwarimu
wa buri munsi ngo amenye amanota y’umwana, akanamusaba ko amufasha kurenza
abandi.
l Umubyeyi wihitiramo umwana icyo
aziga muri kaminuza, cyangwa umwuga azakoramo.
l Umubyeyi wivanga mu nshuti
z’umwana, akamubuza kuvugana n’abandi kubera ko atabizera.
l Umubyeyi utemerera umwana kujya
ahantu atari, cyangwa gukora ikintu cyose adahari.
Ibyavuye
mu bushakashatsi n’abahanga barabigaragaza
l Dr. Jean Twenge, umwanditsi
w’igitabo Generation Me, yagaragaje ko abana baturutse mu miryango ya “helicopter
parenting” bagira urugero rwo hejuru rw’agahinda no kwiheba, kuko batagira ukwihangana
mu gihe cy’akaga.
l Dr. Julie Lythcott-Haims, yahoze
ari Dean wa Stanford University, yanditse How to Raise an Adult, asobanura
uburyo ababyeyi barengera abana cyane bituma bakura batizeye ubushobozi bwabo,
kandi akenshi ntibashobore kugira ubushobozi bwo kwitunga ku kigero kinini.
l Psychologist Madeline Levine, mu
gitabo cye Teach Your Children Well, atanga impuruza ku buryo ababyeyi bashyira
abana ku gitutu cy’umusaruro mwiza wo mu ishuri gusa, ntibabafashe gukura
bafite ubuzima bwiza bwo mu mutima n’ubwenge.
Impamvu
ababyeyi babyitwaramo batyo:
l Kubera urukundo cyangwa ubwoba ko
umwana yazahura n’akaga.
l Kubera igitutu cyo mu muryango
cyangwa mu muryango mugari cyo kugira “umwana utsinda cyane.”
l Gutinya ko umwana yasigara inyuma
cyangwa yagirirwa nabi.
Ingaruka
mbi ku mwana
l Kubura icyizere: Umwana ahora
yumva ko atakwifasha, kuko byose bikorwa n’ababyeyi.
l Kutamenya gufata ibyemezo: Agera
igihe cyo kwigenga agashoberwa.
l Ubwoba bwo gutsindwa:
Ntamenyereye ko amakosa ari isomo.
l Kubura imibanire myiza: Ashobora
kuba umwana ugira ibibazo mu mikoranire n’abandi.
Inzira
nziza itari iyo kwivanga cyane:
Kurera mu buryo bushyigikira
umwana—kumuba hafi, ariko umuha umwanya wo gukura, gufata ibyemezo, no kwiga ku
ngaruka zabyo. Iyo umwana ahawe amahirwe yo kwibona nk’ufite agaciro, akura
afite ubushobozi bwo kwigenga no guhangana n’ubuzima.
Umwanzuro
na zimwe mu nama ku babyeyi:
Kurera si ukurengera umwana muri
byose. Ni ukumuba hafi, ariko ukamureka akagwiza ubuhanga bwo kwifasha.
l Ba umubyeyi umuha umutekano, ariko umuhe
n’ubwisanzure.
l Shishikariza umwana kwifatira ibyemezo bito—uzamufasha
kwiga gufata ibinini ejo.
l Mwigishe kwihanganira
gutsindwa—ni yo nzira y’ubwenge n’ubukure.
l Mutekerezeho nk’umuntu wihariye,
ufite inzozi n’ubushobozi bye bwite.
Inzobere mu mibanire y'abantu zivuga ko kurera umwana atari ukumurinda buri
kantu kose, ahubwo ni ukumufasha gukura mu bwenge, mu mutima no mu bikorwa
bishobora no kumuremamo imbaraga zo kwirwanaho, kwirwanirira, kwirinda,
kwikemurira ibibazo n’indi myitwarire myiza umuntu wese akenera mu buzima.