Mu muco nyarwanda ndetse no mu bindi bihugu byinshi, hasanzweho imyumvire ivuga ko umugabo ari we ugomba gutangiza urukundo, gusaba umukobwa ko bakundana, gufata iya mbere amusaba ko bashyingiranwa ndetse no kujya kumukwa.
Ariko uko ibihe bigenda bihinduka, hari abakobwa batangiye kurenga iyo myumvire, bagahitamo kugaragaza amarangamutima yabo, gusaba abo bakunda kubana ndetse no kugira uruhare rugaragara mu gufata ibyemezo biganisha ku kubaka urugo.
Nubwo bamwe babibona nk'impinduka nziza igaragaza ubwisanzure n'uburinganire, hari abagabo mu Rwanda bagihura n'ikibazo cyo kumva ko byaba ari uguta ishema.
Bibaza uko bazafatwa n'abandi bagabo mu gihe umugore yaba ari we ufashe iya mbere akamusaba ko babana, akamutera ivi cyangwa akanamukwa.
Muri rusange ku isi, imiryango iharanira uburenganzira bw'abagore ishyigikira impinduka mu myumvire. Umuryango mpuzamahanga uharanira uburenganzira bw'abagore no guteza imbere uburinganire hagati y'abagabo n'abagore (Women for Women International – WfWI) uvuga ko imyumvire ivuga ko umugabo ari we wenyine ugomba gufata iya mbere mu byemezo by'urukundo n'urugo ari imwe mu myumvire ya kera ikwiye gusubirwamo.
Uyu muryango ushishikariza abagabo n'abagore kuba abafatanyabikorwa, aho kubona impinduka mu nshingano z'abagabo n'abagore nk'amarushanwa, ahubwo bakazifata nk'ubufatanye bugamije kubaka umuryango mwiza.
Mu Rwanda, bamwe mu basore bavuga ko batakwemera umugore wafashe iya mbere. Imaniranzi Olivier, ufite imyaka 26 wo mu Karere ka Kicukiro, avuga ko umukobwa wamutera ivi atakwemera kubana na we kuko yaba amusuzuguje mu ruhame.
Yagize ati: "Umukobwa aramutse ansabye ko dushyingiranwa akanantera ivi, ntabwo nabyemera kuko yaba anteje abantu. Mu bandi bagabo sinagira ijambo."
Iragena Eric wo mu Karere ka Nyarugenge na we avuga ko atakwemera umukobwa ufata iya mbere amwereka ko yifuza ko bubaka urugo, kuko yumva ko nyuma yazamusuzugura.
Yagize ati: "Ntabwo nakwemera ko umukobwa dukundana ari we unshakira amafaranga yo kumusaba. Nubwo nta kazi mfite ko gutunga umuryango, numva nyuma byatuma ansuzugura. Umugabo agomba kwigira."
Ku ruhande rw'umunyeshuri wa kaminuza witwa Irankunda Valens, ntiyemeranya n'iyo myumvire. Avuga ko ari imyumvire ya kera ikwiye guhinduka.
Asobanura ko muri iki gihe abagore benshi bafite akazi kandi bishoboje, bityo bidakwiye ko abantu bakomeza gutekereza ko umugabo ari we ugomba gufata iya mbere buri gihe.
Yagize ati: "Ibintu byarahindutse. Abagore benshi ubu bafite akazi kandi barishoboye. Niba umukunzi wanjye afashe iya mbere akambwira ko yifuza kubana nanjye, sinabyanga kuko imyumvire ikwiye guhinduka."
Mu Karere ka Nyamagabe, hari abakobwa bagaragaje ko kubona umugabo ufite ubushobozi bw'amafaranga bitoroshye, bituma bamwe bitabira gahunda yiswe "Ndongora Nitunge."
Nubwo bimeze bityo, bavuga ko gushaka korohereza abakunzi babo hari aho bigarukira kubera igitutu gituruka ku myumvire ya bamwe mu bagabo bumva ko buri kintu cyose kigomba gukorwa na bo.
Umwamikazi Chalom, ufite imyaka 24 wo mu Karere ka Gasabo, avuga ko yigeze kubabara ubwo umukunzi we yamusigaga nyuma yo kumubwira ko yiteguye kugira uruhare mu gutegura ubukwe no gutanga amafaranga y'inkwano.
Yagize ati: "Namubwiye ko nshobora kumufasha gutegura ubukwe no kwita ku rugo rwacu, ndetse nkamufasha no kubona amafaranga y'inkwano. Ariko yararakaye, avuga ko nta mugabo ukwiye kugaragara nk'udashoboye. Nyuma twaje gutandukana."
Mu bindi bihugu, kuba umugore yasaba umugabo ko babana cyangwa akanamufasha mu myiteguro y'ubukwe si ibintu bidasanzwe. Hari abagore benshi bagenda bafata iya mbere mu gusaba abo bakundana no kubafasha mu zindi gahunda z'ubuzima.
Nk'uko ikinyamakuru People cyabitangaje mu nkuru yasohotse ku wa 4 Gashyantare 2025, Talitha Degier, umukobwa w'imyaka 21 wo mu mujyi wa Sheffield mu Bwongereza, yafashe icyemezo cyo gusaba umukunzi we ko bashyingiranwa.
Yavuze ko atashakaga gukomeza gutegereza ko umuco wa kera ari wo umubwira icyo gukora, ahubwo ko yashakaga gukora icyo umutima we umubwira no kugaragaza urukundo rwe.
Ibi bigaragaza ko bamwe mu bagore batangiye kubona ko gufata iya mbere mu rukundo atari ugusenya inshingano z'abagabo, ahubwo ari uburyo bwo kugaragaza ubushake bwo kubaka ubuzima bafatanyije.
Nubwo hari abagore bahitamo gufata iya mbere, abasesenguzi mu mibanire bavuga ko bidakwiye gusobanura ko umugore agomba kwikorera inshingano zose cyangwa kwemera guteshwa agaciro.
Urukundo n'urugo bisaba ubufatanye, kubahana no gufata ibyemezo mufatanyije, aho kuba irushanwa ryo kumenya ugomba gufata iya mbere.