Nyamara, hari n'abibaza niba gusangira amabanga yose y'ubuzima bwahise bidashobora kugira ingaruka ku isura yabo cyangwa bikaba byatuma abo bakundana babatakariza ikizere.
Ibi bituma ikibazo gikomeza kuba impaka: Ese ni ngombwa kuvuga byose mbere yo kurushinga, cyangwa hari ibikwiye kuguma ari ibanga?
Wilson Ndayisenga, umusore w'imyaka 28 ukora akazi ko gutwara abagenzi mu Mujyi wa Kigali, avuga ko kuba inyangamugayo hagati y'abitegura kubana ari ingenzi cyane mu kubaka urugo ruhamye.
Agira ati: "Iyo abantu basangiye ukuri ku byabaye mbere yo kubana, bituma habaho icyizere kandi bikarinda amakimbirane ashobora kuvuka nyuma."
Ku rundi ruhande, Nadine, umunyeshuri w'imyaka 21 uri mu mwaka wa kabiri muri ICK, we abona ko atari ngombwa kuvuga byose.
Avuga ko hari ibintu umuntu yakwifuza kugumana kugira ngo atabangamirwa cyangwa ngo abangamire umukunzi we. Agira ati: "Hari ibintu bimwe na bimwe bitagomba kuvugwa byose, nk'ibyaha bikomeye cyangwa ibibazo byashize. Ushobora kubivuga, ariko bikagutera kutemerwa. Urugero, niba warigeze gukuramo inda, wabivuga?"
Abamaze kurushinga bavuga ko ukuri ari ishingiro
Uwamiza Jeanne, umugore uba i Kigali umaze imyaka ine arushinze, avuga ko ukuri ari inkingi ikomeye y'urugo. Avuga ko iyo nyuma yo gushyingiranwa umwe amenye ko mugenzi we yamuhishe ibintu bikomeye, bishobora guteza ibibazo bikomeye mu muryango.
Agira ati: "Ibyiza ni ugusangira ibintu bikomeye mwanyuzemo mbere yo gufata icyemezo cyo kurushinga. Iyo bibaye nyuma umwe akamenya ibintu bikomeye wari waramuhishe, bishobora gusenya icyizere."
Yongeraho ko guhisha amateka nk'ubusambanyi cyangwa ibindi bibazo bikomeye bishobora gutuma habaho kutizerana, amakimbirane ndetse rimwe na rimwe bikarangira abashakanye batandukanye.
Ubushakashatsi bwakozwe na Lehmiller, bwashyizwe ahagaragara muri Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, bugaragaza ko guhisha amabanga mu rukundo bigabanya icyizere, ubwitange ndetse bikongera ibibazo by'ihungabana n'agahinda.
Nanone, ubushakashatsi bwasohotse muri Bulletin of Counseling and Psychotherapy bwerekana ko amabanga mu mubano agabanya ubunyangamugayo n'ukuri hagati y'abashakanye. Iyo abantu bahisemo kuba inyangamugayo ku byo bari barahishe, bituma urukundo rurushaho gukomera kandi rugatanga amahoro.
Akamaro ko kuganira mbere yo gushyingiranwa
Dr. Howard J. Markman, inzobere mu by'imibanire n'ingo, azwi cyane mu bushakashatsi ku itumanaho n'imibanire y'abashakanye binyuze muri gahunda ya PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program).
Ubushakashatsi bwe bugaragaza ko abashakanye biga uburyo bwo kuganira neza no kubwizanya ukuri mbere yo kurushinga bagira amahirwe menshi yo kugira urugo ruhamye rudakunze kurangwa n'amakimbirane. Ibi byerekana ko kumvikana no kubwirana ukuri ari bimwe mu byubaka urugo rurambye.
Mbere yo gufata icyemezo cyo kurushinga, ibiganiro byimbitse hagati y'abakundana ni ingenzi cyane. Ibi biganiro bikwiye kuba birimo amateka y'ubuzima, indangagaciro, imitekerereze ndetse n'ibyifuzo by'ejo hazaza.
Nubwo abantu badahuje ibitekerezo ku kuba amabanga yose akwiye gusangirwa cyangwa hari akwiye kuguma ari ibanga, impuguke nyinshi zigaragaza ko ukuri n'ukwizerana ari inkingi z'ingenzi z'urugo rukomeye.
Mu by'ukuri, urukundo rushobora kuba rwiza, ariko ruba rukomeye kurushaho iyo rushingiye ku kuri kuruta ku bintu bihishwe.