Ni iki abashakashatsi bavuga ku ndwara yo gukunda bidasanzwe izwi nko 'kurwara indege'?

Ahantu habaye ibitaramo by’abahanzi bazwi cyane ndetse n’ibindi byamamare mu bintu bitandukanye, hakunze kugaragara abantu bagwa igihumure rimwe na rimwe bagahwera abandi bakarira byimbitse bikaba ngombwa ko bamwe bajyanwa kwa muganga.

Hari ababikora kubera inyungu zabo runaka, ariko hari n'abo bibaho byizanye kubera baba barisanze bakunda uwo muntu ku buryo umubiri wabo uba waratakaje ubushobozi bwo kwihangana. Abenshi muri aba bumvikana bavuga ko bashaka kwibonanira amaso ku maso n’icyo cyamamare ubundi bakabona gukira.

Iyi ndwara yahawe akabyiniriro ko kurwara indege (Obsession love disorder) ifata abagabo n’abagore ku kigero kingana, ariko abagore ni bo bakunze kugaragara cyane kubera imiterere ya benshi muri bo ituma kwifata ngo bahishe amarangamutima yabo bigorana. Abagabo rero bo iyo bagize iki kibazo, bitwara nabi cyane ku buryo bishobora kubaviramo no guhohotera uwo iyi ndwara yaberekejeho bitewe kandi n'uko abo bakunda batitwaye nk'uko babishaka.

Urugero rw’ihohotera rishobora guterwa n’iyi ndwara igihe muhungu yakunze umukobwa muri ubu buryo, ni nk’igihe umukobwa aba atabizi cyangwa se atanamukunda ariko wenda bombi ari inshuti zisanzwe, ni uko umuhungu akamufuhira cyane bikabije, ntiyifuze ko yakwitaba telefone z’abandi cyangwa se ngo abavugishe imbonankubone. Mu gihe rero umukobwa utubahirije ayo mategeko yo gucika ku bandi bantu, umusore aba ashobora kumuhohotera avuga ati 'reka twese tumuhombe'.

Abantu bazobereye mu by’imikorere y’ubwonko cyangwa se imitekerereze ya muntu muri rusange, bavumbuye ko hari itandukaniro rinini cyane hagati y’urukundo rusanzwe (ruri ku gipimo kizima) n’urukundo rw’uburwayi (love disorder).

Urukundo rushobora kuzanira umuntu ibyishimo bitagira uko bingana, ariko nanone rushobora kwangiza mu gihe uwakunze atagarukiwe n’urukundo cyangwa se akunze akarenza ibikenewe. Nk'iyo ukunze umuntu by’ukuri we ntagukunde cyangwa se akabanza kukwereka ko agukunda nyuma akakwanga (akagutera indobo), ugira umutima umenetse n’agahinda kenshi kuko turemanywe amarangamutima yo kubabara.

Ariko nanone hari igihe unyura ku muntu ubonye bwa mbere, ukumva uramukunze by’akanya gato bitewe n’uko ubonye imiterere ye cyangwa se ubutunzi umubonanye, akaba yanagukurura mu buryo bw’irari kamere ry’umubiri.

Ku muntu rero ufite iki kibazo cyo kuba arwariye indege umuntu runaka, aya marangamutima yo kubabara cyane nk’uwatewe indobo no gukururwa bikabije ku mubiri byombi bituma ahorana agahinda gakabije no kwifuza mu buryo budashira uwo akunda.

Abahanga mu by’imitekerereze bavuga ko kandi urukundo rwo ku gipimo kirenze igikenewe ruvanze n’uburwayi bwo mu mutwe (obsessive love) rutaba hagati y’igitsina gore n’igitsina gabo gusa. Ko ahubwo rushobora no kuba mu buzima busanzwe hagati y’abagabo n’abagabo cyangwa hagati y’abagore n’abagore aho umuntu ashobora nko gufana umukinnyi runaka cyangwa se umuririmbyi w’umugabo cyangwa w’umugore mugenzi we bikagera ku gipimo aba atagishoboye kuyobora amarangamutima ye bikamuviramo kumurwarira indege.

Ku wa 28 Ugushyingo mu 2012, Umusore witwa Dana Martin yagerageje kwivugana umuhanzi w’icyamamare Justin Bieber ubwo yari ari kurirmbira ahitwa Madison Square Garden muri New York ariko umugambi we urapfuba. Bamujyanye mu butabera baramusuzuma basanga yari afite igishushanyo (tattoo) cya Justin Bieber ku kaguru ke abantu birabayobera.

Mu 2012 i Madison Square Garden muri New York Justin Bieber ubwo yaririmbaga yari agiye kwivuganwa n’umwe mu bafana be bamukundaga bikabije

Iperereza ryarakomeje, haza kugaragara ko uriya musore yari umufana ukomeye cyane wa Justin Bieber akaba yarakundaga kumwandikira ubutumwa bugufi we ntabusubize, yewe ngo yigeze no gusaba Bieber ko bahura kuko yamufanaga cyane kuva yatangira kuririmba nabyo ntibyakunda maze bimuviramo uburakari bukabije bwo kumwambura ubuzima.

Itandukaniro riri hagati y’urukundo rwo ku gipimo kizima n’urukundo rurengeje igipimo ruvamo n’uburwayi

Kugira amarangamutima akabije ku mukunzi wawe mu buryo budasanzwe ku rukundo ruzima rutavanze n’uburwayi, biba mu ntangiriro z’urwo rukundo, aho usanga uhora umutekereza ijoro n’amanywa ndetse ukanifuza ko akuba iruhande igihe kirekire cyane.

Ariko uko iminsi ishira urukundo narwo rugakura, mwese mukagaragarizanya ko mukundana, ayo marangamutima agenda ajya ku gipimo cya nyacyo ku buryo biba bitakiri ngombwa y’uko wifuza ko muhorana umunota ku wundi, ahubwo n’iyo ari kure uba wumva umwizeye ko ataguhemukira kandi ukumva ko nawe agutekereza bityo ntuhangayike birengeje urugero.

Urukundo rwa nyarwo kandi ruzima (Healthy love) rurangwa no gukura uko imyaka ihita aho usanga hazamo ko buri umwe afata inshingano zo kwita kuri mugenzi we, hakazamo gafashanya mu buzima bwa buri munsi no kubahana, aho buri muntu aha umwanya ibyifuzo bya mugenzi we.

Ikindi kandi ni uko urukundo ruzima rutuma buri umwe yumva ko akunzwe, yitaweho ndetse yubashywe, bigatuma buri wese abaho ubuzima bwe butarangwa n’ubwoba cyangwa guhangayika yaba ari mu kazi, cyangwa se mu wundi mubano agirana n’abandi bantu b’inshuti ze ku ruhande.

Umuntu ukunda mu buryo butari ku murongo usanga yita ku tuntu duto cyane, ugasanga ahorana ifuha ridasobanutse, nko kubona uwo akunda avugana cyangwa asuwe n’undi muntu, kumubona yitegereza undi muntu mu nzira n’ibindi bikamutera kurakara cyane akumva ko uwo akunda atari uwo kwizerwa nyamara ari uburenganzira bwe kuvugana, gusura ndetse no gusurwa n’uwo ashaka.

Dore ibimenyetso by’indwara y’urukundo rutari ku murongo (obsessive love disorder)

Usibye gufuha mu buryo budasanzwe bishingiye ku bintu bitanaremereye, umuntu urwaye indege usanga asa n’uwabaswe na wa wundi yita ko akunda. Urugero rutangwa n’abahanga mu by’imitekerereze hano, ni uko usanga abantu bafite bene iki kibazo bifuza kumarana igihe kirenze n’abo bakunda, kandi bakabatekereza ku rugero rwo hejuru.

Bituma rero aba bantu bagabanya igihe bakoreshaga mu myidagaduro, bakanagabanya igihe bamaranaga n’izindi nshuti zabo zisanzwe yewe n’abo mu miryango yabo, kugera n’ubwo gukora akazi kabo ka buri munsi cyangwa kwiga bibananira.

Umuntu urwaye indege ahorana ibitekerezo byinshi by’uburyo yazigarurira uwo muntu akunda, akanahora adatuje kuko ahora acunga umukunzi we aho agiye hose, bikaba byavamo no kumuhohotera mu buryo bunyuranye. Umwihariko w’iyi ndwara ya obsessive love disorder ni uko baba abagabo n’abagore ibagiraho ingaruka zo kwisanga bahohoteye abo bakunda ku rwego rungana.

Dore ibitera urukundo rukabije rutera kurwara indege

Buriya urukundo ni imbaraga zikomeye cyane. Iyo umuntu yakunze rero hari imisemburo ubwonko bwe buvubura harimo nk’uwitwa Dopamine utuma umuntu agira ibyishimo n’iyindi myinshi cyane ishobora guhindura imikorere y’umuntu mu buryo nawe atazi.

Iyi misemburo yose rero igihe yabaye myinshi ishobora gutera umuntu uri mu rukundo gutekereza nabi cyangwa se akitwara mu buryo budasanzwe. Bitewe n’imibereho umuntu yanyuzemo ubwonko bwe bushobora gukora iriya misemburo ku gipimo kirenze icya nyacyo, bigatera kwitwara nabi mu rukundo. Ibintu rero bishobora gutera ubwonko gukora nabi bigakurura umuntu kwisanga yarwaye indege ni ibi bikurikira:

A.    Ibibazo by’ubwonko byo kubona ko gukundana n’umuntu bya nyabyo bigoranye (Attachment disorders)

Amarangamutima ajyanye no gukundana hagati y’umuntu n’undi atangira kwirema mu bwana kuko n’umwana muto ashobora gukunda umuntu ariko wenda bitagendanye n’urukundo rwo kubana. Nk’iyo rero umwana ukiri muto akunze ababyeyi be batumvikana, bagahora barwana cyangwa se bagatandukana, bituma akurana ubwoba bw’uko nawe byazamubaho.

Ibi ngibi bitera wa muntu wakuze atyo gufata mugenzi we mu rukundo nk’impfungwa ngo hato atazamusiga cyangwa se agahorana ubwoba n’igishyika ku mutima. Uko atekereza ibyo byose umubiri we hari ibinyabutabire ukora (chemicals) bigenda byangiza imitekerereze ye kugera bibyaye ikintu kinini akaba yanajyanwa mu bitaro.

B.     Uburwayi bwo kudatandukanya ibintu by’ukuri n’ibintu umuntu yitekerereje

Ubu burwayi bwitwa Schizophremia, butuma umuntu yumva ko ikintu runaka ari ukuri n’ubwo byaba atari byo. Umuntu ufite iki kibazo ashobora kwisanga yarwaye indege aho akunda umuntu akumva byanze bikunze nawe aramukunda, n’ubwo undi ntacyo byaba bimubwiye.

Uyu muntu kandi ashobora gutandukana n’uwo bahoze bakundana ariko agakomeza kumva ko urukundo rugihari uko byamera kose. Ibi rero nabyo bishobora gutera umuntu kugira obsessive love cyangwa se urukundo rukabije kandi rutari ku gipimo nyacyo.

Mu nyigo yakozwe n’abahanga mu by’ubuzima mu 2017 yagaragaje ko imbuga nkoranyambaga zishobora gutiza umurindi Schizophremia kuko zituma abantu barwaye iyi ndwara bumva bari kumwe na bagenzi babo bari kure nk’aho bari kumwe.

C.    Uburwayi bwo kwishima cyane bikarangira ubabaye cyane (bipolar disorder)

Ubu ni ubundi burwayi bushobora gutera umuntu kurwara indege bukaba nabwo bufata ubwonko, kuko umuntu agira ibyishimo byinshi ariko icyamushimishaga cyarangira cyangwa cyamuva iruhande, akagira umubabaro n’agahinda ku rwego rwo hejuru cyane.

D.    Uburwayi bwo kumva ko abandi bantu nta cyo bari cyo

Iki ni ikindi kibazo gikomeye cyane abantu bamwe bakunze kugira aho umuntu yumva ko ariwe wenyine ukora ibintu bizima, abakora nk’ibye nabo akabona ko ari bazima, ariko abanyuranya nawe akabona ari nk’abantu batuzuye ku buryo uba utabasha kumva ko umuntu yakosa nyuma akazikosora. Ibi nabyo babyita 'Borderline personality disorder'.

Bene uyu muntu ufite iki kibazo iyo akunze bishobora kumuviramo gukunda mu buryo butari ku murongo, aho ashobora kubona umukunzi we ari umunyamafuti w’ibihe byose agahorana intimba ku mutima kuko aba abona umukunzi we bitamukundira kwisubiraho.

E.     Uburwayi bwo mu mitekerereze butera umuntu gusubiramo igikorwa runaka nta mpamvu nyakuri ibimuteye

Iyi ndwara yitwa Obsessive-Compulsory disorder uyifite imutera gukora ibikorwa bimwe inshuro nyinshi nta mpamvu ifatika ihari yo kubikora nko guhora ahamagara umuntu akunda, akamwandikira ubutaruhuka bikagera aho bibangamira nyir’ukubikorerwa, yaramuka rero wenda aje online akamubura cyangwa ntasubizwe ku bijyanye n’ubutumwa yanditse akaba yanarwara.

Ibiranga umuntu ufite ikibazo cya Obsessive love disorder cyangwa se urwariye indege mugenzi we

Ibimenyetso bishobora kwerekana ko umuntu akunda mu buryo bukabije ni ibi bikurikira:

-          Gukenera guhumurizwa cyane na wa wundi akunda, bitaba agahorana agahinda

-          Guhoza mu magambo umuntu akunda aho ariho hose

-          Kumuhamagara cyangwa kumwandikira buri segonda

-          Kwita ku mibereho bwite y’umuntu akunda mu buryo bukabije nko guhora acunga abamusura, guhora acunga ibyo yashyize ku mbuga nkoranyambaga n’ibindi.

-          Gucana umubano n’inshuti ze, kudatuza igihe ari mu kazi, no kwijima mu maso igihe atari kumwe n’uwo akunda

-          Kunezerwa bikabije igihe uwo akunda amuri iruhande, no kugira uburakari bukabije igihe batandukanye

Dore rero uburyo indwara yo gukunda bikabije ivurwa

Kugira ngo umuntu ufite ikibazo cya Absessive love disorder abashe gusubira kuri gahunda, bisaba ko hakoreshwa uburyo bwa Psychotherapy. Ubu ni uburyo inzobere ziganiriza wa muntu ukunda ariko bikaba byiza niba n’ukunzwe nawe abonetse, maze bombi bakagirwa inama y’uko batwara urukundo rwabo kandi haba hari impamvu runaka ituma ukunzwe atitabira uwo mubano, uwakunze akagirwa inama zo kubyakira.

Iyo mu bakundana hari urwaye Obsessive love disorder bombi bashobora kuganirizwa kandi bikabafasha

Iyo kandi iki kibazo cyo gukunda mu buryo burenze igipimo bwatumye hari ibindi bibazo ubwonko bw’umuntu runaka bugira, ashobora no guhabwa imiti yabugenewe imufasha kuruhuka, n’indi yatuma asubira kuri gahunda nyuma y’igihe runaka.

Umuntu warwaye indege aramutse asigaye yitwara mu buryo agira imyitwarire mibi nko kunywa ibiyobyabwenge kubera wenda uwo akunda adakora ibyo ashaka, cyangwa se akishora mu bikorwa by’urugomo, iki gihe afashwa kugororoka cyangwa se akajyanwa mu bigo ngororamuco.

Src: Health line