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Kigali

Amakosa 9 ashobora gutuma uhararukwa urukundo imburagihe

Yanditswe na: Clementine Uwiringiyimana
Taliki:15/05/2020 16:56
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Urukundo akenshi runyura muri byinshi byiza ndetse binaryoheye buri wese mu bakundana ariko hari n’igihe kigera ururimo akumva kurambirwa birizanye. Ntibiba bivuze ko ubuzima buhagarariye aho ahubwo hari uko byakosorwa.



Igihe wamenye amakosa ashobora ku kuganisha kwiyumvamo ko urambiwe urukundo, ushobora gukora uko ushoboye ukabyirinda bityo urukundo rwawe rugahora rutoshye ntakurambirwa.

Akenshi kurambirwa bikunze guterwa n'ibikorwa umuntu yirirwamo aba asa n'uwagize akamenyero. Hari ubwo ubana n’umugore igihe cya buki kikarangira imyaka igakomeza. Kwirinda kuzarambirwa rero bisaba kwihatira kuzaguma ari wowe, unyuzwe ndetse ugatuma ibyanyu bihora bimeze neza. Uko mwaba muhorana kose, dore amakosa mukwiye kwirinda kugira ngo kurambirwana kutazinjira mu rukundo rwanyu.

1. Kujya ku mazi

Byashoboka ko mwaba mwabyumvikanyeho cyangwa umwe muri mwe abishaka, ariko ibi byo kujya ku mazi iyo mubyiharaje birangira vuba cyane umwe muri mwe akaba yatangira kurambirwa kuko hari ibyo atakibona.

Niba mwarakundanaga mwaramenyereye ko nta kwezi gushira mudasohokeye ku mazi, ibi ni ibintu mukwiye guhindura mugishakana kandi mukabiganiraho. Iyo mutabyikoreye mwisanga byizanye mutabizi bikaba byatuma murambirwa kuba mu rukundo.

Impamvu y'ibi ni uko bimwe mu byatumaga mwumva ruryoshye biba bitangiye kubahunga. Kimwe mu bituma umubano uramba nturambirane, ni ukugira ibyo ubwira ibitekerezo byawe bigatangira kumenyera ko ari uko bimeze.

2. Guhagarika intego zawe

Rimwe na rimwe hari ubwo abakundana bamara kwinjira mu rukundo rw’igihe kirekire agahita yikuramo ibyo yapangaga bye by’ahazaza agatangira gutekereza by’icyo gihe. Hari nk’uhita avuga ati amashuri nateganyaga kwiga ndabiretse ariko burya ni ikosa rikomeye.

Nubwo uba ubonye umukunzi uba ukwiye kuguma kwihatira kugera kuri za ntego wifuzaga kuzageraho kuko uba warazibaraga nk’igice kizagira ubuzima uzabamo ahazaza uba kandi unabonye uwo kugufasha kuzihatanira aho kuba uwo gutuma uzireka. Iyo bitabaye ibyo urambirwa kare kuko hari iby’ingenzi uba waribujije byari gutuma ubuzima wateguye kubamo burushaho kuba bwiza.

3. Kutiha akanya

Abantu benshi bamaze kubona uwo bahuje ubuzima bibagirwa ko nabo ubwabo bakeneye kwifataho akanya. Ntukirengagize ko ibyo ukunda n’imishinga yawe nabyo bigifite agaciro muri wowe. Kubyirengagiza ni byo bituma wirundurira muri rwa rukundo bigatuma urambirwa vuba kuko ari rwo rwonyine ruri mu ntekerezo zawe. Ariko igihe ubasha kugira ibindi uhugiramo, bizatuma utarambirwa.

4. Kuruhuka ari uko uri iruhande rw’umukunzi

Hari abibwira ko kugira ngo urukundo rugende neza ari uko umwe ahora iruhande rw’undi ku buryo hari n’uwumva ko yaruhuka neza kuko ari hafi ye. Ibi birarambirana cyane. Wabishaka utabishaka, uba ugomba kujya kure ye kugira ngo uhure n’ibindi bikunaniza ushobora gutekerezaho mbere y'uko uza kumva uruhutse kuko wegereye urukundo rwawe.

Mu buryo umuntu aremye harimo ko umuntu akeneye ibimutesha umutwe adakeneye guhora atekanye gusa. Ibi bituma utarambirwa n’uburyo ubayeho mu buzima runaka kuko uba wagiye uhura n’impinduka zitandukanye. Ni byiza ko mu mibereho ya muntu agira akamenyero ariko kumenyera kuba mu bintu bimwe mu rukundo bituma rukurambira vuba.

5. Kwibanda cyane ku gikorwa cyo gutera akabariro

Abakundana benshi bafata iki gikorwa nko kwinezeza bikarangira ariko iyo muri mu rukundo rw’igihe kirekire imibonano mpuzabitsina iba ari ikindi kintu gitandukanye n’uko mubyumva. Iyo imibonano mpuzabitsina muyihinduye nk’igikoresho aho kuba impamvu n’inzira zo kwishimana bifite intego, mubirambirwa vuba mukaba urwo rukundo mwaruhararukwa.

6. Gutakaza amarangamutima

Niba wiyumvamo ko watangiye gutakaza uburyo bwo kwisanzura no kubasha kugaragaza amarangamutima yawe k'uwo ukunda, ni inzira yo kuganisha ku guhararukwa urwo rukundo. Gutinya kwirekura mu kiganiro n’ibyiyumviro ugirira umukunzi wawe ni inzira ikuganisha kumva ko ntacyo urukundo rukumariye bityo ukabirambirwa.

7. Guhorana nawe buri uko mubyutse

Nubwo uba ukunda umukunzi wawe ntibivuze ko mugomba guhorana buri gihe ngo woye gufata akanya uhugiye mu byawe. Iyo igihe cyawe kinini ukimaranye n’umuntu umwe biba byoroshye ko urambirwa vuba guhorana nawe. Igihe uhuye n’umukunzi mukumburanye ni bwo munezerwa kurenza guhora umwe yikuba kuri mugenzi we.

8. Kwicara ukumva ko ibintu byakemutse

Kuba ukundana n’umuntu mukaba mwaranageze kure, abantu baramenye ibyanyu ntibivuze ko urugendo rurangiye ngo uhagarike gushyiramo imbaraga. Igihe cyose uba ugomba guhora utekereza agashya wakora mu rukundo rwawe. Iyo bitabaye ibyo usanga bikurambiye ugatangira no kwifata nk’aho nta rukundo urimo kuko utari kunyura mu buryohe bwarwo.

9. Kunanirwa kuhaba mu gihe cya ngombwa

Iyo umaze kujya mu rukundo rw’igihe kirekire, hari ubwo utangira koroshya ibintu ukaba utakibaza cyane aho umukunzi wawe ari, ibyo arimo n’ibindi. Ikosa rikomeye bamwe bakora bibagirwa ko no mu gihe biri ngombwa bagomba kuboneka. 

Ugasanga n’iyo muri kumwe ibitekerezo byawe byibereye ahandi ku buryo uhaba udahari. Ibi bituma umwe muri mu rukundo ashobora kukurambirwa kuko uba umutera kubaho nk’aho ari wenyine kandi mwakabaye muri kumwe mugahuza ibitekerezo.

Kwirinda ko urukundo uruhararurukwa bikaba byatuma utandukana n’uwo mukundana bisaba kwitanga cyane. Kuba mu rukundo si ibintu birangira mu gihe runaka ahubwo bihora byuhirwa ngo bihorane itoto. Uzirinde ko umuntu mukundana yabura impamvu yo kuba kumwe nawe agatangira kumva ko nta tandukaniro riri hagati yo kukugira no kuba wenyine.

Src: bustle.com






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