Abagore si bo bonyine bagomba kwita ku rugo gusa n’ubwo hari ababitekereza gutyo ndetse n’abagabo si bo bonyine baba bagomba gutunga umuryango n’ubwo hari ababyumva uko. Urugo ruba ari urwa babiri, hari ubwo usanga umwe akorera undi amakosa ndetse akamubabaza wenda atari anabizi.
Muri uko gukosa, usanga akenshi abagore ari bo bafata iya mbere mu kuvuga ko mu rushako bababazwa, ariko urebye usanga batababazwa iteka ahubwo hari n’amakosa aba yaturutse ku bagore ubwabo. Nk’uko twabibasezeranyije mu nkuru y’ubushize ubu tugiye kureba ku byo abagore bakora bikababaza abagabo babo.
1.Gukora imishyikirano mpuzabitsina nk’ikiguzi
Akenshi usanga umugore niba hari ikintu ashaka ko umugabo we amugurira, nk’imodoka cyangwa kumuha amafaranga, amubwira ko bari bukore imishyikirano ariko nawe akamuha icyo amusabye. Ese ibi birakwiye? Ibi bisa no kwiyima umugabo wawe kuko gutangira kumwiha ari ikiguzi uretse no kuba ari ikosa binababaza cyane umugabo wawe.
2.Kutiyitaho
Usanga abagore iyo bamaze gushaka bagabanya kwiyitaho, nyamara umugabo wawe mbere y’uko mubana wabaga usa neza, nta gitangaza kirimo kandi si n’ibanga mu byo yagukundiraga harimo n’uko wagaragaraga wiyitayeho. Kuba ubaye umugore ntibivuze ko ugiye gusa nabi, iyo mirimo yo mu rugo, isuku n’ibindi wabikora kandi ugakomeza gusa neza wiyitayeho uko bikwiye kuko umugabo wawe yifuza gukomeza kukubona uri mwiza. Kutiyitaho no kwigira nabi bibabaza umugabo wawe kandi nawe bikagusuzuguza, iyiteho!
3.Kutanyurwa
Uretse no kuba nta mugabo ukunda umugore utanyurwa ubundi nta muntu ukunda umeze uko. Niba uhora wumva ko bidahagije, ugahorana intonganya bizabuza amahoro umugabo wawe kandi biteze umwiryane mu rugo rwanyu. Itoze kunyurwa igihe cyose, kandi wibuke ko uwo ari umugabo wawe, si umwana wawe.
4.Guhora udatekanye
Kudatekana ni irindi kosa rigaragara cyane mu rushako. Yego birumvikana nta na rimwe wifuza kugira uwo usangira n’umugabo wawe, ariko se niba utamwizera kuki wabanye nawe? Ugasanga umugore ari kurwana n’abandi bapfa umugabo. Koko?! Ibi ntitwatinya kubyita ubujiji. Uriya mugore muri kurwanira umugabo wawe siwe kibazo; ikibazo ni umugabo wawe nawe ubwawe. Aho kwihutira kurwana, wagakwiye kubanza kumenya impamvu umugabo wawe agufite ariko akamurarikira bishobora kuba biterwa n’uko uhora udatekanye bikamurakaza. Ntukisuzuguze urwana n’abandi bagore ku karubanda mupfa umugabo.
5.Gufata abo mu muryango w’umugabo wawe nabi
Birumvikana ko udakwiye kumva ko umugabo wawe agomba guca akagozi kamuhuza n’umuryango we kuko yubatse. Kuko ni IKOSA! Ahubwo nemera ntashidikanya ko niba koko ukunda umugabo wawe, uzamukundira ibye byose birimo n’umuryango we. Itoze kubaha umuryango w’umugabo wawe kandi ntubafate nk’abantu bashya badasanzwe kuri wowe ngo ubakumire. Yego hari ubwo ba nyirabukwe b’abantu bataba beza kuko hari ubwo yumva ko ugiye kumusimbura atazongera kwitabwaho nk’uko byahoze. Ibi ariko ntibizatuma umufatira umuryango nabi, kuko bizamubabaza binabashwanishe.
6.Kutaganira ku kibazo
Nta zibana zidakomanya amahembe. No mu rushako bishobora kubaho, iyo mutaganiriye ku kibazo biba ibindi. N’iyo umugabo wawe yaba yarakaye, itoze kubirenga umwemerere muganiroku kibazokuko kumuhunga ntibizabafasha kandi murusheho kubahana.
7.Kutihangana
Iri kosa ryo abagore benshi barihuriraho. Ukwiye kwitoza kwihangana no gutegereza niba umugabo wawe yabigusabye cyangwa atabigusabye kukokumuhoza ku nkeke biramubangamira kuko igihe utarabasha kwitoza gutegereza nturanitegura urushako. Nakubwira kwihangana ukazabona icyo wamusabye, yego, ihangane utegereze.
8.Kutita ku mugabo ashonje
Yego birumvikana ko uba uhuze rwose, kwita ku rugo no kubihuza n’akandi kazi ukora cyangwa impano yawe ntibyoroshye. Ariko na none gukoresha ubwenge n’ubushishozi ni ingenzi cyane. Kuba uhuze birumvikana ni na byiza ko ufite ibyo guhugiraho, ba umugore w’umunyabwenge muri byose wibuka ko umugabo wawe agomba kurya kuko umugabo ushonje ntashobora kwishima. Noneho gusonza azi ko afite umugore mu rugo byo biragatabwa. Nubishobora kandi umutekere ibyo akunda bizamushimisha cyane.
9.Inshuti Mbi
Iri ni irindikosa rigaragara mu ngo nyinshi ku bagore cyane cyane. Birakwiye ko muhitamo inshuti mukoresheje inyurabwenge uko ntabwo bose ari beza kuri mwe. Ntimugafungurire imitima yanyu buri wese ngo wumve ko wabwira buri wese muri izo nshuti amakosa y’umugabo wawe. Yego birumvikana hari ubwo uba ukeneye undi muntu muganira rwose, ariko ukwiye guhitamo ukwiye kandi muzima byibuze kandi nawe ukamubwira ibiri ngombwa, si byose. Umugabo wawe azababazwa cyane no kubona umugore we afite inshuti mbi kuko nawe azabyisangamo mu iherezo ryabyo.
10.Ibanga
Ubundi abagore bazwiho kutagira ibanga, ariko uku si ukuri kuri bose. Hari abagore bagira ibanga n’aho bidakwiye ugasanga ibikwiye kuba ibanga sibyo bagira ibanga. Niba utangiye guhisha ibintu bimwe bikaba amabanga ku mugabo wawe, ntamenya ibyawe, ni amakosa mabi kandi abimenye utabimwibwiriye biramubabaza cyane kuko agutakariza icyizere. Wowe ni umugabo wawe mugomba gusangira ubuzima kandi se byashoboka gute muhishanya?
Twizere ko wakunze iyi nkuru? Wayisangiza inshuti zawe kandi niba hari icyo wifuza mu nkuru y’ubutaha watubwira tukazagufasha.
TANGA IGITECYEREZO