Menya impamvu imibanire y’ababyeyi n’abana babo irushaho gucumbagira

Ubundi umuryango ugizwe n’umugore n’umugabo (ababyeyi) n’abana, ndetse n’abandi bose baba muri urwo rugo, ababyeyi baba bafite inshingano zo kurera no kwita ku muryango, bikubiyemo gushaka ibitunga umuryango, gushaka imyambaro, inshingano zo gushaka amafaranga y’ishuri y’abana igihe bageze mu mashuri ndetse n’ibindi bikenerwa mu buzima bwa buri munsi.

InyaRwanda yakoze icyegeranyo cya zimwe mu mpamvu zituma ababyeyi bataboneka, mu rwego rwo kwita ku burere bw’umwana bivamo imyitwarire idakwiye irangwa mu rubyiruko rw’abubu.

1. Ubwoba bw’ubuzima/inkeke ku buzima

Ababyeyi benshi bakora iyo bwabaga izo nshingano bakazikora bijyana n’ubushobozi ariko kandi ntihakwirengagizwa ko atari byo byonyine umwana akeneye kugira ngo akurane ikinyabupfura n’uburere, biba ari ngombwa cyane ko uko abana bakura ababyeyi bababa hafi no mu nshingano zo kumenya imyitwarire bakurana.

Umunyarwanda yaciye umugani ati: “Inyana ni iya mweru”. Ubundi umwana asa n’ababyeyi be, kuko akenshi umwana akura yigana imico y’abamuba hafi umunsi ku munsi. Nkuko abashakashatsi babivuga, umwana agereranywa n’ikibaho kiriho ubusa, bityo abamurera bandikaho umunsi ku wundi, baba babizi cyangwa batabizi.

Muri iki gihe, iterambere rikomeje gufata indi ntera, n’impinduka nyinshi zikomeza kwiyongera, bituma umubyeyi n’inkingi ya mwamba mu muryango akomeza kuburira umwanya umuryango, bigatuma urugo rusa nk'aho ruharirwa abakozi bo mu rugo.

Abakozi bo mu rugo nabo akenshi baba badafite uburere buhagije umwana akeneye, kuko ariwe bamarana umwanya munini, birangira umwana afashe imico y’umukozi. Iyo noneho haba ihindagurika ry’abakozi, bitera umwana kuba yagira imico myinshi itandukanye, akenshi iba itari myiza ijyana n’uburere bw’abo bakozi.

2. Imiterere n’imihandagurikire y’akazi

Kuri ubu bimwe mu bitera ababyeyi kubura mu muryango, harimo imiterere y’akazi, nk’akazi gakorerwa kure y’umuryango, cyangwa kakamufata amasaha menshi, bityo bigatuma ababyeyi abura umwanya wo kwita ku muryango we, cyanga akazi kamuha inshingano zo kuba kure y’umuryango igihe kinini.

Mu mwanya muto abenshi mu babyeyi babona wo kwita ku muryango, ugasanga udahagije mu kunoza inshingano zose, akenshi izo kurera abana zigaharirwa abakozi, aho usanga umubyeyi abaza umukozi wo mu rugo, iby’imico idasanzwe abonana abana be.

Umukozi nawe uba adasobanukiwe iby’imirere y’abana, bityo ugasanga umukozi ararenga akanakoresha umwana imirimo imusumbya ubushobozi, tutirengagije ko hari n’abakozi byagaragaye ko bicisha umwana inzara, abandi bakabakubita bitajyanye n’ingano yabo, kera kabaye hakazamo no kubakorera ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina.

3. Ingaruka z’ubupfubyi bwatewe n’amateka mabi yaranze igihugu cy’u Rwanda

Bamwe mu babyeyi benshi mu gihe cya none, mu mikurire yabo babayeho birera ndetse abandi barera abatoya babo bo muryango cyangwa mu inshuti. Abo bana nibo babyeyi uyu munsi, byumvikane ko kubura ababyeyi babo, abenshi byabateye kutagira ubumenyi bucye ku burere bw’umwana.

Nyuma ya Jenoside yakorewe Abatutsi mu 1994, habaye ubupfubyi mu bice bitandukanye by’igihugu, kandi mu byiciro bitandukanye. Harimo abarerewe mu bigo by’impfubyi, bityo bakarerwa nk’ababa ku ishuri igihe kinini cy’ubuzima bwabo, aho nyuma y’igihe runaka boherezwaga mu miryango y’inshuti n’abagiraneza.

Iy bahageze, abenshi bafatwa nabi, bagahitamo kuva mu rugo bakajya kwirera mu buzima butoroshye, ibintu byavuviramo ihahamuka, byo byose bitamuhaye uburere bukwiye bw’umwana mu rugo, kuri ubu nawe ni umubyeyi bigoranye gutanga ubwo burere bwiza nawe atahawe.

Abandi bana ni abakuze barerwa na bakuru babo cyangwa birera, bakiri bato badafite ubushobozi bwo gutanga uburere kuri barumuna babo nabo ubwabo, uwo mwana nawe ni umubyeyi uyu munsi, ariko abenshi bakuriye muri ubwo buzima, ni ababyeyi utarenganyiriza uko baba batanga uburere mu muryango n’abandi benshi tutarondoye muri iyi nkuru.

4. Urukundo rwacogoye hagati y’abashakanye (Ababyeyi b’abana)

Kuri ubu hari imiryango myinshi yubakiye ku bindi bitandukanye n’urukundo, aho biteza imyiryane mu muryango, ugasanga bigize ingaruka mbi ku mibereyo y’umuryango, aho ingaruka nyinshi usanga ziza ku burere bw’umwana.

Hari ubwo usanga hari imiryango yashyingiwe ku gahato ku bw’inyungu zitandukanye haba iz’ababyeyi babo, imitungo se, amoko, amadini n’ibindi bitandukanye. Aha birumvikana abagiye gushyingirwa baba badafitanye urukundo nk’igihango kibahuza hagati yabo, ibi akenshi bigateza umwiryane mu muryango uturutse ku kutihanganirana.

Mu rugo rumeze gutyo, akenshi rukunze kurangwamo intonganya zidashira, gusiganira inshingano, kutubahana n’ibindi. Ibyo byose bigatuma umuryango ubaho bimeze nko kubaho mu gihano cy’amahitamo mabi, ibyo byose bikabangamira uburere bw’abana.

5. Ubumenyi budahagije mu gutanga uburere ku mwana

Mu buzima byakabaye byiza ikintu cyose ukora gifitiye benshi umumaro, kugikora ugifiteho ubumenyi buhagije cyangwa bw'ibanze nibura. Ariko kenshi usanga ababyeyi bagera mu gihe cyo kurera nta bumenyi babifiteho, aho usanga hari byinshi mu gutanga uburere ku bana babo badafitiye amakuru ahagije.

Ibi byiyongeraho kuba ababyeyi badafata umwanya uhagije ngo bashakishe amakuru ahagije yabafasha mu burere buboneye bw’abana babo, uko kutagira ubumenyi bukenewe bituma uburere budatangwa neza, bishobora kuviramo umubyeyi guhohotera no kuvutsa umwana uburenganzira bwe n’ibindi.

Nk'uko bizwi ko ikintu cyose gikoranywe, ubumenyi bucye habaho kwangiza. Hamwe mu hantu ubu bumenyi bushobora gushakishwa mu bitabo bijyanye n’uburere, filme mbarankuru (documentaire) zivuga ku burezi, gusura amahuriro y'ababyeyi (Parents seminar), aho bifasha umubyeyi kugira amakuru ahagije amufasha kuvugurura uburere bw'abana.

6. Kutarema ubushuti n’abana

Mu rugo rurangwamo urukundo rw’umwana n’umubyeyi ndakurahiye nta mushyitsi cyangwa inshuti y’umuryango yaharambirwa kubera ubwumvikane n'urugwiro buba burangwa hagati yabo, umubyeyi abasha kumenya neza icyo umwana atekereza cyangwa ateganya gukora.

Ibi bifasha umubyeyi kuba umujyanama mu gihe gikwiriye, icyo abandi babyeyi bita guhana umwana ahaho byitwa kuganiriza umwana kuko umubyeyi abayizeyeko uwo abwira amwumva neza.

Ababyeyi bakeneye kuvugurura imibanire nabana kuko uko umubyeyi aganira n'abana niko arushaho kumenya bimwe mu bibazo n'ibitekerezo bikenewe kwitabwaho mu burere bw’umwana nk'uko bitangazwa na CNN.  

Gusa akenshi usanga bamwe mu babyeyi bagifite imiterereze yo kumva ko kureka umwana akisanzura ku mubyeyi ari ukumusuzugura. Hari n'abumva ko ari ukumumenyereza nabi nyamara ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko birema isano nziza hagati y’umwana n’umubyeyi.

Abahanga mu bijyanye n'imibanire bavuga ko umubyeyi abaye hafi y'umwana we, buri kibazo umwana afiteho amatsiko abanza kubaza umubyeyi aho kujya mu bamugira inama zamuroha, ahabituma umwana abaho ubuzima bwiza bufite umutekano nubwisanzure.

Umwanditsi: SHEMA Yves