Hari abasore baba bagaragara nk’abakuze, ariko imyitwarire yabo igaragaza ko bataragera ku rwego rwo gufata inshingano z’abakuze. Bene aba bakunze kwitwa “man-child”, bisobanura umusore ukuze ariko ugitekereza kandi akanitwara nk’umwana.
Abahanga mu mibanire bavuga ko gukundana n’umuntu nk’uyu bishobora gutuma wisanga ari wowe wenyine umeze nk’uwikoreye umutwaro wose w’urukundo rwanyu, mu gihe uwo mukundana akomeza kubaho nta nshingano afashe.
Dore ibimenyetso bitanu bishobora kukwereka ko ukundana n’umusore utarakura mu mitekerereze, nk’uko tubikesha inyandiko yasohotse mu kinyamakuru Psychology Today:
1. Uhora umukorera ibintu yagakwiye kwikorera
Ibi bishobora kuba ibintu byoroheje nko kumukorera ibyo yakabaye yikorera, atibuka inshingano ze, ndetse agasa nk’ukwishingikirizaho. Hari n’igihe usanga ari wowe umushakira impamvu igihe yakoze amakosa cyangwa ukagerageza gusobanurira abandi imyitwarire ye mibi.
Abahanga bavuga ko abantu badakuze mu mitekerereze bakunda gushyira inshingano zabo ku bantu babakunda, mbese bakaba nta kintu bakwikorera ubwabo batikoreje undi umutwaro.
2. Kuvuga ku hazaza cyangwa kubaka urugo ntabikozwa
Iyo ugerageje kuvuga ku kubaka urugo, abana muzabyara cyangwa ejo hazaza h’umubano wanyu, ahita agira ubwoba cyangwa akagerageza guhindura ikiganiro.
Bamwe bahitamo kubifata nk’urwenya, bakayobya ikiganiro, cyangwa bagahita bahaguruka bakigendera. Inzobere zivuga ko niba umuntu adashobora kuganira ku hazaza h’urukundo rwanyu, kandi mumaze igihe mukundana, bishobora kuba ikimenyetso cy’uko atitaye ku rukundo rwanyu, cyangwa adakuze bihagije mu mitekerereze.
3. Uhora umwibutsa inshingano ze
Usanga uhora umwibutsa ibyo yagombaga gukora cyangwa ibyo yasezeranyije gukorera abandi, ugasanga mu gihe utamwibukije aba atabyitayeho, ndetse biba bigaragara nko kukuvunisha mu rugendo rwanyu rw’urukundo. Iyo mugiranye ikibazo, aho kwemera amakosa ye, ashaka kuyakugerekaho, cyangwa akakumvisha ko uri kumurenganyiriza ubusa.
Abahanga bavuga ko ibi akenshi biterwa n’uko umwe mu bakundana aba atuzuza inshingano ze uko bikwiye.
4. Yirinda ko mugirana ibiganiro bikomeye
Iyo ugerageje kuganira ku bibazo bikomeye cyangwa ku byo ukeneye mu mubano, ahita ahindura ikiganiro, akabihindura urwenya cyangwa agatangira kukwereka amakosa yawe aho kumva ibyo umubwira.
Bamwe bakoresha ayo mayeri kugira ngo birinde ibiganiro bibasaba gufata inshingano cyangwa kwerekana amarangamutima yabo ya nyayo.
5. Usanga yitwara nk’abana mu buryo bugaragara
Iyo ari kumwe n’inshuti ze, yitwara nk’ukiri mu myaka mito cyane, afite amaraso ashyushye cyane. Ibintu nko kunywa inzoga birengeje urugero, gukora ibikorwa by’ubwana cyangwa gukunda urwenya rudahuye n’imyaka afite, bigaragaza ko umusore mukundana akiri umwana cyane.
Abahanga bavuga ko bamwe mu basore batarakura bihisha muri iyo myitwarire kugira ngo birinde ibiganiro bikomeye, kwirinda inshingano, ndetse no kuvunisha abo bakundana.
Inzobere mu mibanire zivuga ko gukundana n’umuntu nk’uyu bishobora gutuma umwe mu bakundana yikorera umutwaro w’abantu babiri. Iyo birangiye aba bombi babanye, usanga umwe ari we wikoreye umutwaro w’urugo rwose, amafaranga akoreshwa mu rugo rwose akaba aye, ndetse akarera abana wenyine, mu gihe undi akomeza kubaho nta nshingano afashe.
Bagira inama abantu kwitondera imyitwarire nk’iyi hakiri kare, kuko ibi bishobora kugaragara nk’ibidakomeye, cyangwa bisekeje mu ntangiriro z’umubano, ariko nyuma bikavamo umutwaro uremereye.