Hagarika urukundo rwawe nawe niba ubona ibi bimenyetso! Isomo rya Jack na Rose

Akenshi ukunda gusubiramo ijambo rimwe wowe ubwawe cyangwa uwo mu kundana nawe ubwe ukumva arisubiramo ngo “Sinzakureka ngo ugende, sinzagusiga”. Iri jambo akenshi ntagisobanuro rigira iyo bigeze mu rukundo kuko iyo wateye intambwe nabi, ukisanga wicaye mu mutima w’umuntu nyamara wajya kureba ugasanga nta byishimo uhabona, iri jambo twavuze hejuru ushatse wahita uryaka agaciro n'ubwo bitoroshye, gusa wibukeko Jack atigeze asiga Rose. Ibi nubibona uzahita usezera mu rukundo n’uwo muntu cyangwa ukurikize inama tuguha.

1.      Ntabwo mwizerana

Kwizerana ni igice cy’ingenzi kandi gikomeye mu rukundo rw’abantu babiri. Kwizerana reka tubitsindagire tuvuge ko ari gice cyagutse cyane cy’umubano uzaramba cyangwa umubano warambye. Abantu bakundana baba bagomba kubakira ku cyizere hagati yabo kigendana n’izindi ndangagaciro (ubupfura, kubahana,….). Ese niba utubaha uwo mu kundana, utekereza ko mufite icyerekezo? Igisubizo cyanjye ni “Ntacyizere”, wenda nawe uriha icyawe. Rimwe na rimwe uzisanga uri kwibaza aho inshuti yawe yagiye, ibyo iri gukora, isaha iri butahire, niza ibyo ikubwiye harigihe uzasanga bihabanye n’ukuri.

TWIBAZE: Ese Jack yigeze abeshya Rose na rimwe bari muri Titanic? Oyaa!! Ntabwo yigeze amubeshye byatumye Rose ageraho yizera ko yibye umutima w’inyanja bituma inkuru yabo iba intangarugero. Umwanzuro wo kubivamo uzawufate witonze.

2.      Ntabwo mugikundana nk’uko byahoze

Ufite umukunzi, ku bwawe wumva ko urukundo rwanyu ruzagera kumpera z’isi. Ese ibi bishatse kuvuga iki? Bishatse kuvuga ko hagati yanyu harimo imbaraga zikomeye zubaka urukundo rwanyu bikabaha icyizere, ariko izo mbaraga ni nazo ziruhekenya gahoro gahoro. Uzisanga watereye hejuru ijwi kubera akantu gato mutumvikanyeho, yewe hari n’igihe mu zarwana biguturutse ho niwicara uzibaza niba ari filime wakinaga ubure igisubizo.

Iyo filime y’urukundo iri gukinwa, urugero nka Titanic, usabwe gushyira ijwi hasi (Guceceka). Kudakundana rero bituruka ku magambo mabi mubwirana mwebwe ubwanyu cyangwa mukagabanya kwitanaho, ibi nubibona ukabona ntugishoboye kubyihanganira uzahite wandika usezera.

INAMA: Niba uri umusore, menya ko Ubwato bwa Titanic izi saha ari wowe ubutwaye. Ba mwarimu mwiza umwigishe uko bafata ingashyi, umwereke n'uko batwara, ni bwo inkuru yawe y’urukundo izaba amateka. Menya ko imbaraga zose zifitwe nawe no kurambirwa kwe ni wowe bizaturukaho. Gusa ni wicara ugasanga nawe utakimukunda ,…. 

Tekereza icyo uzakora. Mukobwa nawe icara utekereze uti ”Ese ni iki ntagikunda kumukunzi wanjye ? Niba hari ibyo gukemura umufashe mu bikemure kuko ntamwiza wabuze inenge. Ariko nusanga ari ibinanira amabuye,….Nawe tekereza icyo uzakora.

3.      Ntabwo mukicyubahana nka mbere

Mukeneye kubahana mu rukundo rwanyu. Nanone kubahana ni igice cy’ingenzi mu rukundo ruzima ruzaramba (Urukundo rufite intego). Nawe ujya ubibona ko atakikubaha, ariko ntiwabyemeza neza kuko atabikwibwiriye, arakubeshya, aguca inyuma, ntakiguhamagara twatuzina mwari muziranye ho asigaye aguhamagara mu izina,..Icarana nawe muganire, mugirane ikiganiro, uganishe aho ushaka.

4.      Kwikunda

Iki cyo kwikunda turagisanga mu ijambo rimwe, Kuganira. Hari igihe ujya wisanga wiganiriza wenyine, kandi muri kumwe , yacecetse se cyangwa yihugije.Harimo kwikunda gukomeye iyo bigeze mu rukundo. Mugomba gufatanya muri buri kimwe. Twibaze: Ese utekereza ko Jack yivugisha wenyine muri Titanic ,Rose yicaye ari kumwumviriza yikiriza gusa ? Oyaa !! Baraganiraga kandi bakibanda kubuzima bwabo bombi.

Ese utekereza ko Jack yaretse Rose yahagaze akareba ubwabo butwara Rose , agashaka inzira zo kwitorokera? Oyaa ! Jack yabaye uwambere mukurwana no gushaka umuryango ubasohora, Muri make bose barafatanyije buri wese arwanira mugenzi we. Nonese hari uwigeze agaragaza kwikunda muri bombi?  Niba ubona hari ikibazo kandi ukabona mwagikemura ba uwambere. Gusa nubona akunaniye , ukabona yimitse ubwikunde, ni cyo gihe cyo kuvuga ngo ‘Good Byee!.

5.      Ni wowe uri gushyiramo imbaraga ngo mukomezanye

Ahari ntucyiyumvamo uwo mukundana nka mbere, ese iyo mpamvu irahagije ngo umusezere cyangwa ngo urambirwe ?

Mu maso yawe igisubizo ni 'Ntibishoboka!' (Never)

Ugiye gushyiramo imbaraga zawe zose, yewe n’ibyawe byose, kugira ngo wubake umubano wanyu ukomere. Gusa ni wowe wenyine ubirimo kandi uri gukoresha imbaraga nyinshi. Kubera ko atarimo kugufasha.Murukundo harigihe umwe usanga atagifite ibyiyumviro nk’ibyambere kandi wowe ntako utagize. Niba ubishoboye mufashe nawe. Ushobora kuba nta mbaraga uri gushyiramo ariko ukabyitaho kurusha uri kuzishyiramo nawe gerageza.

Wibuke ko ugomba kuba nka Jack ndetse ukaba nka Rose, Mube nka nka Jack na Rose !

Ntimuzemere gupfira muri filime ibabaje y’urukundo. Nubona ari kukugora mbese ukabona adashobotse, ni cyo gihe cyo kumusezera. Niba wumva utabishaka rero ukumva hari icyo wasezeranya umutima wawe uzibaze uti “Ese Rose yakoze iki? Yarabiretse biraba, nawe nubikora umutima wawe uzaruhuka. Nyuma yo gusoma iyi nkuru wicare ufate umwanzuro, uhunge cyangwa ube intwari ukomeze urwane. Gusa wibuke ko ari wowe uri ku kibuga twe ntiduhari.

Inkomoko : Psycho2go, psychologytoday