RFL
Kigali

Uburyo bwiza bwo guhosha amakimbirane hagati yawe n’umukunzi wawe

Yanditswe na: Liliane Kaliza
Taliki:3/09/2020 18:05
0

Intonganya hagati y’abashakanye cyangwa se abantu bakundana zirasanzwe ariko rimwe na rimwe hari igihe habaho kurengera ugasanga za ntonganya zifashe indi ntera ku buryo abantu badashatse uko biyunga bishobora kubaviramo gutandukana.



Rimwe na rimwe gutongana kw’abakundana hari igihe bifatwa nk’ikimenyetso cy’uko bakundana koko ariko si buri gihe kuko hariho intonganya zishobora kugeza abantu ku kintu kibi cyane ari nayo mpamvu tugiye kurebera hamwe icyo abashakashatsi bavuga kugira ngo abakundana bongere biyunge.

Niba rero abakundana bashaka gukemura impaka mu buryo bwiza, impuguke mu bijyanye n’imibanire myiza Chantal Heide avuga ko hari ibintu abafatanyabikorwa bashobora gukora kugirango bibafashe gukemura ibibazo byabo no gukomezanya umubano ari byo:

Gufata umwanya uhagije wo gutekereza: Heide ati: "Harvard yakoze ubushakashatsi ku gutekereza maze isanga nyuma y'ibyumweru umunani gusa abantu bakora iyi myitozo yo gutekereza, ubushobozi bwo kumva bahangayitse ndetse n’umujinya biragabanuka,  Iyo ugabanije ayo marangamutima rero biragoye kwisanga mu makimbirane, kandi ku bw’ibyo ushobora gukomeza gutuza nubwo mugenzi wawe yaba agifite umujinya w’umuranduranzuzi kandi wibuke ko kugira ngo gutongana bibeho bisaba abantu babiri, ubaye ucecetse rero mugenzi wawe ntiyabona aho ahera.

Hitamo gutuza: Heide ati: “Iyo wumva ufite umujinya mwinshi, hitamo guceceka witurize kugeza igihe wumva umeze neza kandi utekereje neza ku kibazo cyawe.” Ati: "Ibi biguha amahirwe yo kubanza kumva mugenzi wawe mbere yo kwirengera ngo uzamure amahane bikaguha amahirwe menshi yo kubona aho uhera uhosha amakimbirane mufitanye."

Shaka igisubizo mbere yo kwerekana ikibazo: Kwegera inshuti za hafi, gukora ubushakashatsi ku cyabaye, Heide avuga ko izi ari inzira zirashobora kugufasha kubona igisubizo ati: "Kenshi na kenshi tuvugana n’abakunzi bacu turakaye cyane n’umujinya mwinshi  tubasaba ko bakemura ibibazo byacu tutazi ko babishobora." Ati: "Ibi bitera ibyiyumvo byinshi, bigatera urujijo, kandi bikongerera umujinya buri wese muri mwe, ni byiza kubanza gushaka igisubizo bere yo gushyira imbere ikibazo."

Ntugasabe mugenzi wawe gukora ikintu udashaka gukora: Niba hari icyo ushaka gusaba umukunzi wawe mutacyumvikanaho, wimwereka ko ari we wabikora gusa ahubwo muhe urugero rwiza umwereke ko nawe ubishoboye.

Gusaba imbabazi neza: Heide ati: “Ntuzigere ukura ijisho kuri mugenzi wawe muhatirize umwinginge aguhe imbabazi kuko “Kuvuga ngo 'Mbabarira' ni nk’inkota yuzuye amarangamutima umuntu aba aguteye, nusaba imbabazi ubikuye ku mutima nta kabuza urukundo rwanyu ruzagurumana”   kandi wibuke kubabarira utongeyeho ijabo ariko, urugero, ndkubabariye ariko ……, oya babarira nurangiza wibagirwe bizatuma umubano wanyu urushaho kuba mwiza kurutaho.

Src: Lovelearnings.com 






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