Intonganya hagati y’abashakanye cyangwa se abantu bakundana zirasanzwe ariko rimwe na rimwe hari igihe habaho kurengera ugasanga za ntonganya zifashe indi ntera ku buryo abantu badashatse uko biyunga bishobora kubaviramo gutandukana.
Rimwe na rimwe gutongana kw’abakundana hari igihe bifatwa nk’ikimenyetso
cy’uko bakundana koko ariko si buri gihe kuko hariho intonganya zishobora kugeza abantu ku kintu kibi cyane ari nayo
mpamvu tugiye kurebera hamwe icyo abashakashatsi bavuga kugira ngo abakundana
bongere biyunge.
Niba rero abakundana bashaka gukemura impaka mu buryo bwiza,
impuguke mu bijyanye n’imibanire myiza Chantal Heide avuga ko hari ibintu abafatanyabikorwa
bashobora gukora kugirango bibafashe gukemura ibibazo byabo no gukomezanya
umubano ari byo:
Gufata umwanya uhagije wo gutekereza: Heide ati:
"Harvard yakoze ubushakashatsi ku gutekereza maze isanga nyuma y'ibyumweru
umunani gusa abantu bakora iyi myitozo yo gutekereza, ubushobozi bwo kumva bahangayitse ndetse n’umujinya
biragabanuka, Iyo ugabanije ayo
marangamutima rero biragoye kwisanga mu makimbirane, kandi ku bw’ibyo ushobora
gukomeza gutuza nubwo mugenzi wawe yaba agifite umujinya w’umuranduranzuzi
kandi wibuke ko kugira ngo gutongana bibeho bisaba abantu babiri, ubaye ucecetse
rero mugenzi wawe ntiyabona aho ahera.
Hitamo gutuza: Heide ati: “Iyo wumva ufite umujinya mwinshi,
hitamo guceceka witurize kugeza igihe wumva umeze neza kandi utekereje neza ku
kibazo cyawe.” Ati: "Ibi biguha amahirwe yo kubanza kumva mugenzi wawe
mbere yo kwirengera ngo uzamure amahane bikaguha amahirwe menshi yo kubona aho
uhera uhosha amakimbirane mufitanye."
Shaka igisubizo mbere yo kwerekana ikibazo: Kwegera inshuti
za hafi, gukora ubushakashatsi ku cyabaye, Heide avuga ko izi ari inzira
zirashobora kugufasha kubona igisubizo
ati: "Kenshi na kenshi tuvugana n’abakunzi bacu turakaye cyane n’umujinya
mwinshi tubasaba ko bakemura ibibazo
byacu tutazi ko babishobora." Ati: "Ibi bitera ibyiyumvo byinshi, bigatera
urujijo, kandi bikongerera umujinya buri wese muri mwe, ni byiza kubanza
gushaka igisubizo bere yo gushyira imbere ikibazo."
Ntugasabe mugenzi wawe gukora ikintu udashaka gukora: Niba
hari icyo ushaka gusaba umukunzi wawe mutacyumvikanaho, wimwereka ko ari we
wabikora gusa ahubwo muhe urugero rwiza umwereke ko nawe ubishoboye.
Gusaba imbabazi neza: Heide ati: “Ntuzigere ukura ijisho
kuri mugenzi wawe muhatirize umwinginge aguhe imbabazi kuko “Kuvuga ngo
'Mbabarira' ni nk’inkota yuzuye amarangamutima umuntu aba aguteye, nusaba
imbabazi ubikuye ku mutima nta kabuza urukundo rwanyu ruzagurumana” kandi
wibuke kubabarira utongeyeho ijabo ariko, urugero, ndkubabariye ariko ……, oya
babarira nurangiza wibagirwe bizatuma umubano wanyu urushaho kuba mwiza
kurutaho.
Src: Lovelearnings.com
TANGA IGITECYEREZO