Abari mu rukundo bavuga ko rumeze neza iyo ibintu biri kugenda neza uko babishaka, birimo ubworoherane, kwitanaho, amahoro n’ibindi byiza binezeza uwo mukundana.
Igihe rero uri kumwe n’umuntu mubi muhora muhanganye, biba bitangiye kukwerekeza mu nzira zo kurusohokamo. Utitaye ko umaranye igihe kinini cyangwa gito mu rukundo n’uwo muri kumwe, bikunda kugorana kumenya gusuzuma niba utangira guhagarika umubano n’uwo muntu. Uba wibwira uti ‘nshobora kuzabyicuza, ashobora kubyakira mu buryo buteye ubwoba’, biba binagoye kumenya niba ari ibintu uzatwara gake cyangwa ari umubano ugomba guhita uca byihutirwa.
Dore rero ibimenyetso bizakwereka ko utagikeneye kuba muri urwo rukundo ukundi.
1. Ukutavuga rumwe
Niba nta kintu na kimwe ujya uganira n’umukunzi wawe mudateranye amagambo, ugasanga murahora mu mpaka ni ikimenyetso cy’uko mukeneye kuva muri urwo rukundo. Umuhanga mu bijyanye no gukundana James Preece, avuga ko uburakari no kutavuga rumwe bigira inkomoko ku bintu muba mwaribitsemo by’igihe kirekire ngo bikaba bigaragaza ko ibintu bizakomeza kugenda nabi kurushaho. Ngo uba ugomba kuva muri urwo rukundo mbere y’uko ibikomeye bibasakaraho bikabarenga.
2. Gutukana
Niba uwo mukundana ajya agutuka, agusebya cyangwa aguharabika, ni cyo gihe ngo mushyire iherezo kuri urwo rukundo. Madeleine Mason Roantree, umuhanga mu mitekerereze mu by’urukundo akaba n’umujyanama mu bijyanye n’ingaruka zo guharabikwa, agira ati “Ntabwo tuvuga gutukana bimwe biba ku bakundana mu buryo butunguranye bigahita birangira. Ndavuga wa muco mubi uhora ugaruka buri gihe kandi ukabona ko aba yabyiteguye, ugasanga aragukomeretsa bigaragaza ko ari ko ateye.” Ibi bigaragaza ko atabasha kugenzura amarangamutima ye ndetse ko wazabana n’icyo kibazo igihe kirekire uramutse udahise uva muri urwo rukundo.
3. Nturi uw’ingenzi kuri we
Ubusanzwe abakundana bategetswe guhana akanya,
ntabwo bisaba ko aguha ako abonye gasagutse cyangwa bitunguranye. Kugira ngo
rero umuntu abashe kukubonera akanya ni uko agira ibyo yigomwa. Niba umukunzi wawe yanga kukugenera akanya
kandi ukabona arakabonera inshuti ze cyangwa abo bakorana, wagerageza kumubaza
ukabona bikomeje gutyo, ni uko utari ingenzi muri gahunda ze. Va muri urwo
rukundo utangire ubundi buzima burimo no gushaka undi mukunzi mu gihe
gikwiriye.
Src: guardian
TANGA IGITECYEREZO