Abashakanye: Uko mwakomeza kuryoshya urukundo na nyuma yo kubyara

Iyo umuntu amaze kubyara hari imisemburo ihinduka n’iyiyongera mu mubiri bitewe n’uko aba abaye undi muntu n’izindi mbaraga biba bimusaba ngo abashe konsa umwana. Ikindi aba agomba konsa, akagira umunaniro uterwa no kudasinzira neza nk’uko bisanzwe, akavuyo mu mutwe kubera ibitekerezo no guhora ahangayikiye umwana igihe atiriranywe nawe, byose bishobora gutuma iby’urukundo bizamba. Ibi iyo byiyongereye ku gihe umugore umaze kubyara amara atarabasha kongera gutera akabariro nabyo bihumira ku mirari.

Birashoboka ko rero abashakanye bose hamwe bashobora guhuriza ku ngingo runaka bakaguma gusigasira urwo rukundo, bakaguma kwiyumvanamo muri ibyo bihe bikomeye. Muri iyi nkuru tugiye kugaruka ku byo ugomba gukora n’ibyo ugomba kwirinda ngo ubuzima bw’urukundo bubashe gukomeza kandi bukibaryoheye.

Bimwe mu byo mugomba gukora harimo :

1.Kwihanganirana.

Impinduka nyinshi ziba zaje zitangira kugenda zishira vuba. Imisemburo mishya iba iri kwikora igera aho igatuza, umwana ukivuka hari ubwo agira amarira mu majoro make ya mbere ariko mu minsi mike atangira kujya asinzira ndetse cyane, hanyuma n’ibikomere by’umubyeyi wabyaye bigakira. Iyo rero abashakanye banyuze muri ibi bihe bihanganye kandi bose bagifite ubumuntu bigenda neza kandi nyuma yabyo ubuzima bugaruka mu murongo.

Uko ukomeza kwereka ibitekerezo byawe ko ibyo biri kuba ari iby’igihe gito bityo ntiwihangayike, niko ubona ko birangiye mu bihe bya vuba ukongera kugaruka mu buzima bwo gutera akabariro.

2. Kongera gutekerezza ku byo witeze mu gikorwa

Niba ubuzima bwongeye kugaruka ukongera gutera akabariro, abashakanye bagomba gutekereza ku byo bazanyuramo muri ibyo bihe barimo batagereranije na mbere ubwo bari batarabyara.

Ibi bizabafasha kumenya ko niba inshuro mwateraga akabariro zigabanutse bitewe n’uko kongera guhugira ku mwana cyangwa n’intege nke z’umugore, muzabyihanganira kandi bikaba bije bidatunguranye.

Hari n’ubwo iyo inshuro mwahuraga zigabanutse byongera kuryoshya urukundo kuko bituma inshuro nke muhura buri wese aba yabitekerejeho kandi abikeneye bigatuma bigenda neza.

3. Gutekereza neza utigoye

Nyuma yo kubyara hari ubwo bimwe mu bitekerezo byo gutera akabariro birangira ugasanga umuntu ntakibishaka nka mbere. Ibi ntibivuze ko ishyano ryaguye ahubwo biragusaba ko uguma gushaka akanya niyo kaba gato ko kuguma kwihuza n’uwo mwashakanye.

Ikiba gikenewe si inshuro cyangwa umwanya ubikora, ahubwo ni ukugaragaza ko hari agatekerezo ugifite kuri iki gikorwa. Kwiyumvanamo bizanwa n’akamenyetso gato gatwara amakuru y’uko hari ubushake no kwifuza iki gikorwa. Aka gashobora kuba indoro, inseko, ubutumwa bugufi bitewe n’uko bwanditse. Akantu uko kaba kangana kose gatanga ubutumwa bwa ‘ndacyagutekereza nk’umuntu wange kandi nifuza.’

.4. Kuganira ku mpinduka

Hari ingo aho usanga impinduka ziri kumugore ukibyara zibabera nk’inzovu iryamye mu cyumba igafunga amayira yo kuba buri wese yagera aho undi ari. Abagore benshi nabo usanga bari kwibaza niba abagabo babo bazongera kubishimira nyuma yo kubyara cyane ko aba baona impinduka nyinshi ku mubiri we, nyamara ari wo wari usanzwe umufasha kuryoshya ubuzima bw’akabariro iwe mu rugo.

Iyo mwicaye mukaganira kandi mukabwizanya ukuri kuri izi ngingo, bibafasha kuguma kwiyumvana mo kandi mugasangira gutegereza ntewe ukebakeba ngo ashake guca inyuma undi. Ibi byakorwa cyane cyane abagabo kuko hari n’abakeka ko umugore yanze iki gikorwa atari ibikomere bimubangamiye.

Nyuma yo kugaruka kubyo mukwiye gukora, hari n’ibyo ugomba kwirinda kugira ngo ubuzima bwanyu mu rukundo bukomeze kuba bwiza nubwo haba hari impinduka. Ibi byose ni ibigarukwaho naStephanie Manes, akaba umuhanga mu by’imitekerereze n’umujyanama kubakundana, imiryango n’abasheshe akanguhe.

-Hari abatekereza ko nyuma yo koroherwa ubuzima buzasubira nka mbere ariko baba bibeshya. Ibyiza ni ukumenyera ubuzima bushya kuko inshuro cyangwa umwanya washoboraga kumara muri icyo gikorwa siwo uzamara nyuma yo kubyara. Ikiza ni ugerageza kubiha umurongo mushya.

-Hari abatangira kwitera akanyabugabo agahitamo kubyikuramo ngo bizakemuka ari uko umwana yakuze. Aha baba bibeshya kuko igihe cyose umwana ahora akurura impamvu zituma hari ibikorwa bitabera mu gihe nyacyo. Ababikora neza ni abishyiramo ko urwo rukundo rwimukiye mu kuba umubyeyi kuruta kumva ko kuba rugabanutse ari ishyano.

-Ntuzategereze ko ibimenyetso mwakoreshaga mbere mushaka gutera akabariro ari byo bizagumaho. Iyo umubiri uhindutse akenshi n’uko witwaraga birahinduka.

-Ntimugatinye kuba mwabipanga kuri gahunda. Hari ababana banga urunuka kuba igikorwa cy’akabariro gipangiye igihe runaka kuko bumva nta rukundo rurimo. Iyo mutarabyara hari ubwo mufatanya kwitegura ugasanga bigenze neza ariko kuri iyi nshuro birashoboka ko umwana ashobora kubangamira imitegurire y’igikorwa. Mubaye mushyizeho igihe runaka bitewe n’aho mubona haboneka akanya ntacyo byatwara.

Src: Twosome.us