Ibintu byakwereka ko umukunzi wawe mudakwiranye wamuyobeyeho

N’ubwo bitaba byiryoshye ko wabona cyangwa wamenya ko umukunzi wawe atariwe mukwiranye ndetse ko wamuyobeyeho, hari ibimenyetso wabona bikagucira amarenga ko uwo muri kumwe mukwiye gutandukana kuko muba mudakwiranye:

1. Ntiwishimiye urukundo rwanyu

Iki ni ikimenyetso shingiro ukwiriye kugenderaho. Iyo uri mu rukundo nyarukundo ndetse rufite intego ifatika, mugomba kurangwa no kwishimira urukundo rwanyu. Niba utakigira cyangwa utarigeze urangwa n’ibyishimo mu rukundo rwanyu, mukaba musigaye muhora mugirana ibibazo bidashira, wayobye inzira, umukunzi mukundana si wowe yagenewe.

Kugirana ikibazo ku bakundana bibaho kandi si n’igitangaza, ariko niba wowe n’umukunzi wawe muhorana ibibazo bidashira, kutumvikana guhoraho, intonganya za buri munsi,... ibi byose byakwereka ko mutaremewe gukundana.

2. Nawe ubwawe ubyiyumvamo

Umuntu yabasha kubeshya undi/abandi bantu, ariko umutima wawe n’intekerezo byawe ntushobora kubibeshya. Niba rero nawe ubwawe urukundo urimo utarwiyumvamo ndetse rutagushimishije, ni ikindi kimenyetso ko ugomba kugira ikindi ukora hakabaho impinduka mu rukundo rwanyu, byananirana mugatandukana.

3. Inshuti zawe zirabikubwira

Inshuti zawe n’umuryango wawe bashobora gutuma uhitamo nabi umukunzi cyangwa bakakuyobya, kimwe n’uko bagufasha kugira amahitamo meza.

Mu buzima hari abantu bakuba hafi b’inshuti zawe magara (z’akadasohoka). Akenshi aba bakunzi baba bazi imiterere n’imitekerereze byawe. Niba rero izi nshuti zawe twise iza hafi kandi nawe wizera zikugira inama yo kureka umukunzi mukundana ubu kuko babona ntacyo bizakugezaho, wibima amatwi. Bitekerezeho unababaze ingaruka mbi babibonamo. Jya utinya iritavuze umwe.

4. Usigaye wumva wikundiye abandi basore/bakobwa

N’ubwo uri mu rukundo, ariko usigaye ushimishwa no kumva wakwikundanira n’undi mukobwa/muhungu. Wumva aribyo byaguha umunezero n’ibyishimo. Hari ikindi kimenyetso utegereje? Nawe ubwawe warambiwe urukundo urimo, ntirukigushimishije. Uba wumva hari icyo ubura ubona wabonera ahandi.

5. Ugerageza kubyima amaso

Guhunga ukuri ntibikubuza kuba ukuri. Niba ubona bitagenda hagati yawe n’umukunzi wawe kandi bikaba atari iby’ubu, nacyo twagishyira mu ngingo wagenderaho ukemeza ko urukundo urimo ari ubuyobe.

6. Ibibi biruta ibyiza

Mu rukundo buri wese aba agomba kuhabonera ibyiza, n’ubwo hatabura n’ibibazo. Ariko usigaye wicara ugasanga ibibi biri mu mubano wanyu biraruta kure ibyiza bibahuza. Ikiganiro niyo ntwaro, nubona byanze cyangwa nta gihindutse uzamenye ko byanze bikunze umukunzi mukundana ubu atari we wagenewe.

Urukundo ni urusobe, kubona umuntu ugukunda by’ukuri biragoye. Biba byiza nibura iyo umenye ko umukunzi wawe ariwe mukwiriye kuba mukundanda, ko utayobye. Suzuma urukundo rwawe wifashishije izi ngingo uko ari 6. 

Niba hari kimwe muri byo kitagenda, komeza utegereze urebe niba uzabona ibindi bimeneyetso, uzabone gufata umwanzuro. Niba kandi ibi bimenyetso byose biranga urukundo rwanyu, ukwiriye kubivamo hakiri kare. Si byiza ko iteka ureka gukundana n’umuntu nyuma y’uko ibintu bigeze iwa ndabaga.