Abasore: Dore impamvu nyamukuru zituma ubengwa n'inkumi

N’ubwo akenshi usanga  abasore bashinja ababateye indobo ko babahemukiye, ku rundi ruhande ushobora gusanga na wa wundi wimwe urukundo abifitemo uruhare, nk’uko byatangajwe n'urubuga Wikihow rutanga inama mu mibanire y'abakundana. Dore impamvu zituma umusore abengwa, ibyo benshi bita guterwa indobo:

1. Uwo usaba urukundo ntiyiteguye

Buri wese agira uko ayobora amarangamutima ye, kandi urukundo narwo ruyoborwa n’amarangamutima. Mu gushaka uwo musangira urukundo, hari igihe ugwa ku muntu utiteguye kuruguha uko urushaka. Biterwa n’impamvu nyinshi.

Ashobora kuba hari imipaka runaka yishyiriyeho ituma igihe yihaye ngo akundane kitaragera. Ashobora kuba ari mu gahinda k’uwo yakundaga batandukanye, witabye Imana, cyangwa ukundi guhangayika gutuma adashaka umujyana mu bintu by’urukundo, ni uko wamubwira ko wifuza ko mukundana agahita aguhakanira atari uko akwanze ahubwo kuko kuri we igihe kitaragera.

2. Ntuzi ibyo urimo

Nibyo koko hari abantu bajya mu rukundo batazi ibyo barimo, ukumva muri wowe ushaka gukundana ariko ibikorwa byawe bikagaragaza ko utari mu murongo wo gukundana. Bishobora kuba ubumenyi bucye bwo gutereta, kutabasha kwerekana icyo ushaka koko cyangwa se kuba udakuze mu mutwe mu bijyanye n’urukundo.

Aha hanazamo guhuzagurika ukaba ’mvuye aha ngiye aha’, ibi rero uwo wifuzaho urukundo abibonamo kutamenya icyo ushaka cyangwa se kudakura. Ibuka ko abantu dutandukanye, kandi imirimo ibiri yananiye impyisi niko umunyarwanda yavuze.

3. Ntabwo uri kugeza aho ashaka

Aha niho ruzingiye wa mugani wa wa muririmbyi. Ikintu kibaho kigoye ni ukumenya uwo ushaka gukunda uko ashaka gukundwa, cyangwa uburyo bwiza bwo kumwereka urukundo. Gutereta si ibintu bihita byizana, urabyiga ukaniga uwo utereta. Wikwigira uwo utari we ngo ucyeke ko aribwo uzakundwa.

Amagambo umubwira, igihe uyamubwirira, ibyo umukorera n’igihe ubikorera byose hamwe n’ibindi binyuranye, usabwa kubyitaho no kubimenya bihagije. Icya mbere usabwa ni ugukanda kuri bouton ituma yirekura akakwibwira wese, ku buryo amarangamutima ye uyamenya nawe ukamubwira ayawe.

4. Ushyize imbere imibonano gusa

Aha hareba cyane abasore kurenza ko hareba abakobwa. Burya umuntu ugenzwa n’imibonano gusa ntabwo wamuyoberwa, keretse nawe uri impumyi. Uko uganira, ibiganiro ukunda kumujyanamo, ahantu uba ushaka ko muhurira, amasaha uba ushaka ko muhura, byose ashobora kubishingiraho akamenya ko ikikuraje ishinga ari imibonano gusa.

Aha rero niba umukobwa atagenzwa n’imibonano gusa ntugire ngo urukundo rwanyu ruzarenga umutaru. Niba unagenzwa koko n’imibonano koko nabwo ni uburenganzira bwawe, kuki utabimubwira udaciye ku ruhande ariko? Ushobora gusanga nawe muri mu nzira imwe cyangwa se atari ko bimeze bityo bigahagarara hakiri kare, utabanje kuvunika cyangwa gushoramo imitungo.

Muri make guhakanirwa urukundo birababaza cyane kandi biremerera umutima, ariko buri wese aba akwiye kureba ku ruhande rwe niba nta ruhare yaba abigiramo bityo guhindura imiteretere n’imikundire bikaba uburyo bwiza bwafasha gukunda no gukundwa nk’uko ubyifuza, ndetse ugomba gusaba urukundo uteganya ibintu 2: kwemererwa no guhakanirwa. Rero niba wishyiramo ko wemererwa urukundo nta kabuza, uzaba wibeshya.