Impamvu zituma abantu bari mu rukundo bakunze gushwana

Niba winjiye mu rukundo uyu munsi haba hari ibyago 60% by’uko urwo rukundo rushobora kutazakomeza. Ese ni uko kubona urukundo rw’ukuri koko bigoye cyangwa ni uko hari izindi mpamvu zihishe inyuma?

Itsinda ry’abashakashatsi bo muri kaminuza ya Heriot-Watt babonye ko abantu benshi baba bafite imitekerereze idasanzwe bishyizemo ku bijyanye n’urukundo ndetse n’ibintu byinshi bitari ukuri baba barishyizemo ko bazakura ku bakunzi babo. Aba bashakashatsi babonye ko ibyo abenshi bishyiramo baba barabikuye muri filime z’urukundo n’ahandi.

Izi filime ngo zituma abantu bishyiramo ko mu rukundo bazahuriramo n’ibikomangoma bitangaje ku buryo bazaba baboza ibirenge mbese bakabashimisha ku rwego rutangaje. Aha umuntu yakwibaza ati ‘ese koko umuntu yakwitega ko umukunzi we ari we uzamushimisha?’

Twifashishije urubuga tinybuddha.com twaguteguriye ibintu bikunze gutuma abari mu rukundo badahuza ugasanga barashwanye bataragera ku ntego zabo

1. Gutegeka urukundo no gusangira urukundo

Niba utegereza ko umukunzi wawe ari we ugushimisha uri gutegeka urukundo. Niba utarajya mu rukundo wari wishimye wakabaye urushaho kwishima igihe ubonye umukunzi. Niba kandi wishimye shyira imbere cyane gusangira urukundo kuruta gutegeka urukundo. Ibyo byishimo wabashaga kwiha uri wenyine bisangire nawe aho kumuharira kugushimisha gusa.

Ibi bivuze ko niba wumva ucyeneye umuntu wo kuziba icyuho mu buzima bwawe, akagukunda, akakwitaho akanagutera inkunga mu ntege nke zawe, nawe nubikora gutyo urwo rukundo ruzavamo ikintu kiza, gikomeye kandi gitangaje. Iyo wikunze ugashaka gukorerwa ibyiza wenyine ubigukorera ararambirwa akabona ko ari cyo gusa umukeneyeho.

2. Ibyo wiringira cyangwa witega mu rukundo

Kutagira icyo witega ku mukunzi wawe ntibivuze ko utamwishingikirizaho igihe ukeneye ko agushyigikira bivuze ko ahubwo utagomba kwishyiramo ko azakugira kurenza uko wowe wakwigira cyangwa kuruta kuba wowe ubwawe. Iyo abenshi bishyizemo ko bagizwe n’abakunzi babo, usanga iyo habaye impamvu ituma hari ibidashoboka yumva atengushywe cyane.

Niba udashobora kwihagararaho ubwawe nta n’ubwo uba wikunda kandi niba ubwawe utikunda ntushobora no gukunda by’ukuri undi muntu. Mbere yo kwitega ibyo abandi bazagukorera banza urebe ibyo ubashije kwikorera kuko iyo byose ubyiteze ku bandi bikabura wibwira ko bagutengushye rukaba rurakunaniye.

3. Urukundo ‘rw’ukuri’ ubundi ni iki?

Ni igihe abantu babiri bahuye bagatangira gukorera hamwe bafite intego yo gutera imbere kurusha kuba umwe yatekereza gutera imbere yishingikirije cyane kuri umwe muri bo. Bubaka umubano wabo ku rwego rwo hejuru.

Abantu babiri bakundana bumva iki cyo gukorera hamwe ni yo mpano iruta izindi bahana bakabaho banezerewe kandi bakaryoherwa n’urukundo rw’ukuri bashyigikiranyemo.

Iyo wumva ukeneye kubaka urukundo rw’ukuri wirinda kwibwira ko buri kimwe uzakibona kuri mugenzi wawe wowe ukabaho nk’itungo bahirira gusa bakarizanira kuko iyo ibyo witeze byose utabibonye utyo bituma wumva ko udakunzwe ukava mu rukundo kandi bikazahora bityo no kubandi kuko si buri wese wakwihanganira gukunda umuntu umuvunisha.

Izi zari impamvu abantu bakunze guhora bashwana mu rukundo ubutaha tuzababwira amabanga yo kubaka urukundo rurambye. Ntukajye ucikwa n’inkuru zacu z’urukundo zikugezaho byinshi ukeneye muri ubu buzima bwuzuyemo ibigeragezo byinshi mu rukundo.