Zimwe mu ngaruka zo kugira abakunzi barenze umwe

Ukuri guhari kandi nyako ni uko n’ubwo hari ababifata nk’amahitamo meza cyangwa ubwirinzi bukwiye kugira abakunzi barenze umwe, hari impamvu nyinshi zo kurebaho ukareka kwita mu mazi abira wishora mu nkundo zitagira intego.

Tutarebye kuri byinshi abandi bashobora kuvuga hano ndetse tutanarebye ku nyungu bwite za bamwe mu gukunda abarenze umwe, ibintu biba bitakitwa urukundo nyarwo, urukundo rw’umwimerere ruyobora umuntu ku muntu umwe. Umukobwa ku muhungu umwe, umuhungu ku mukobwa umwe; ibirenze kuri ibyo ni iteshagaciro aho waba uturuka hose n’imyemerere waba ufite yose kuko gukunda abarenze umwe bituma umwe afatwa nk’uciriritse undi akubahwa cyane cyangwa se bigaterwa n’uwo muri kumwe ako kanya.

BISHOBORA GUSENYA UMUBANO WAWE

Nta muntu n’umwe uba uri mu rukundo ngo abe yafunguka abwire umukunzi we ko nyuma ye hari undi mukunzi afite. Ibi biterwa n’uko umwe aba ashaka kumwereka ko ariwe wihariye n’undi akamwereka ko yihariye n’ubwo umwe byanze bikunze agomba kuba ari uw’ifatizo undi ari nk’uwo kwikuza (nta yindi mvugo byajyana neza nk’iyi). Abajya bapfa kwerura ni ba bagabo baba bafite abagore cyangwa abagore n’ubundi bafite abagabo bakaba bafite inshoreke ku ruhande. Wowe musore reo cyangwa mukobwa ufite abakunzi barenze umwe, ujya wicara ukibaza ikizabaho abo bombi nibamara kumenya ko wababeshyaga? Icyizere ni ikintu kigoye cyane kucyubaka ariko kigatakara byoroshye cyane. Ibi rero byatuma nta n’umwe usigarana ukisenyera umubano na bose nka wa mugani uvuga ngo ‘Isuri isambira byinshi ikabura na duke yari yifitiye.’

WISANGA UBAYE INDIRI Y’UBUSAMBANYI

Abantu bamwe na bamwe ntibajya bishyiramo ibyo kuryamana n’inshoreke zabo kuko baba bumva ari inshuti za hafi gusa ku buryo igihe umukunzi w’ukuri azagendera bazafatiraho. Ariko ntibikunze kubaho ko babasha kwihishira ngo babireke bya burundu, bimwe birinze babikora kenshi ahubwo kandi mu bwihisho. Rero kwirinda biruta kwivuza, aho kuba indiri y’ubusambanyi ku barenze umwe, kuko ntuba ukimuciye inyuma mu ntekerezo gusa ahubwo uba unamuhemukiye mu bikorwa.

UBA WIYEGEREJE IBYOREZO BYINSHI

Iyo utangiye kuryamana n’abagabo cyangwa abagore barenze umwe, amahirwe menshi yo kwandura uba ugendana nayo kuko uko uba ubatendeka wenda nawe ni ko baba bagutendeka. Ntuba uzi aho baciye, uko muryamana bashobora kukwanduza zimwe mu ndwara zandurira mu mibonano mpuzabitsina.

USHOBORA KWISANGA UZINUTSWE GUTERETA

Uko ugenda ugerageza gukina abantu benshi ubabeshya urukundo, hari amahirwe menshi ko bashobora kukuvumbura mukabipfa. Ibi bishobora kugusubiza mu ntekerezo ukibaza impamvu bamwe mu basore beza b’ibikwerere ndetse n’abakobwa beza b’uburanga uzi bakiri ingaragu?! Abenshi muri bo baba barakoze ibyo urubyiruko rw'ubu rwita 'amabara' kugeza ku rwego rwo kuba batakifuzwa n’undi uwo ari we wese cyangwa se barazinutse batakifuza gusubira mu rukundo kubera ibyo bahuriyemo narwo.

WIYANGIRIZA UBWONKO

Hari ubwo umuntu atabasha kumenya ingaruka za bimwe mu bikorwa akora kuko zidahita zigaragara ako kanya, ariko igihe zitangiye kuzira ni bwo bamwe batangira kwicuza na za ‘Iyo mbimenya’ zitagira ingano kandi bitaba bigishobotse kugira icyo ukora ngo bihinduke. Ikiriho ni uko uburyo imibanire yawe, uko uhagaze mu rukundo ishobora kugira ingaruka mu byiyumvo, uko umerewe, bigira icyo bikora mu mitekerereze yawe yose. Bamwe muri twe, bagira uburyo bwo kugaragaza amarangamutima butandukanye n’ubw’abandi, ndetse bakaba batapfa kwakira ibintu bigira icyo bihungabanya ku bwonko bwabo gusa uko kwiyima bikaba byatera irindi hungabana.

Turebye kuri ibi ndetse n’izindi ngaruka zo gutendeka, kugira abakunzi barenze umwe, dusanga nta nyungu ifatika ibirimo uretse kwiyangiza no kwibeshya ko wishimye nyamara ari ukwiha ishusho y’umunezero utaramba. Basore namwe bakobwa, urukundo ntirusakuma byose, umukunzi ukwiriye aba ari umwe.