Zimwe mu mpamvu zitera urubyiruko kudakora ubukwe

N’ubwo hari abafata ubukwe nk’ibyishimo bidashira ku bashakanye, hari n’abandi babufata nk’agahinda kadashira bitewe n’impamvu zihariye kuri bo bikaba byabaviramo no gutinya gushaka abagore cyangwa abagabo ibyo bo bafata nko kwirinda kwibabariza imitima. Twifashishije urubuga rwa marriage.com twabakusanyirije zimwe mu mpamvu zishobora gutera umuntu gutinya kuzashaka umugore cyangwa umugabo.

1.Urukundo rw’ubu

Tutagiye kure ngo duce hirya no hino, abenshi mu bakobwa ndetse n’abahungu usanga barabaye imbata z’amateka aho bahora bavuga ijambo “Urukundo rw’ubu” aho baba bavuga ibibi biruberamo, ububeshyi, ubuhehesi n’ibindi. Ugasanga umuntu yibanira n’ibikomere y’urukundo, yarabeshywe mu gihe runaka akaba mu rukundo ariko rukarangira ababaye bityo akazafata umwanzuro wo kutazigera yubaka kuko abantu bose aba ababona mu ishusho y’umwe cyangwa bamwe bamubereye babi mu rukundo, rwa rukundo rw’ubu rukaba urw’ubu nyine bamwe bakazinukwa. Nyamara abenshi ntibareba kure ngo biyibutse ko “Nta ngoma itagira ab’ubu.” kandi hari ibintu umuntu aba atahunga uko byagenda kose. Abakobwa bose n’abahungu bose ntabwo bameze nka bamwe mwahuye mbere, gira gushishoza utazibeshya ko wirinze kubabara ahubwo ukazabaho ubabaye bidashira.

2.Ubukwe burahenda

Si ubukwe gusa, muri iyi minsi uko isi yihuta muri byose ni nako ibiciro bya byose bihinduka. Gusa ku bukwe ho birihariye kuko usanga buzamo udushya twinshi byagera ku bakobwa ho ugasanga bimeze nk’amarushanwa y’uzahiga abandi mu kugira ubukwe bwiza, ibintu bitari bibi rwose kuko uba ari umunsi utazagaruka mu buzima bw’umuntu.

Ubukwe burahenda

Bitewe n’uburyo abenshi baba bifuza ko ubukwe bwabo bwaba bumeze, bakareba n’ubushobozi bwabo, bacika intege bakabiharira ababikoze n’abifite bigatuma bitinya bakaguma ari ingaragu aho kuzabaho bishyura amadeni batewe n’ubukwe. Ukuri guhari ni uko ubukwe budakeneye ibirenze, hari ubukwe bworoheje rwose kandi ababukoze bakanezerwa bakanashyigikirwa, kuba waratashye ubukwe bwinshi buhenze, nta tegeko rizaguhana nutigana ibyo bakoze kuko ubukwe si amarushanwa, icya mbere ni urukundo hagati y’abashakanye bombi rugomba kuramba, ibirori ni ibirori nyine biraba bikarangira.

3.Guhora mu gushakisha umukunzi ukwiye

Baba abakobwa ndetse n’abahungu akenshi ushobora kumwumva avuga ngo “Abeza barashize, nta mukobwa/muhungu muzima ukibaho, bose ni kimwe…” Mu gukora ibi si uko baba banze ubukwe rwose, ahubwo usanga bahora mu gushidikanya kudashira. Aha niho uzasanga umukobwa ava ku muhungu umwe ajya ku wundi n’abahungu bikaba uko ku bakobwa ibyo baba bita gushakisha ukwiriye babana, ariko bakibagirwa ko kubaka bidasaba gushaka nta makemwa, ahubwo ari ugushaka uwo ushobora kwihanganira inenge ze. Cyane ko no muri rya zenguruka ridashira, birangira nta makemwa ashaka atamubonye ahubwo akabibabariramo gusa.

Guhora mu mihangayiko yo gushaka umukunzi ukwiye

4.Ibyo ushaka usanzwe ubibona

Iri ni ikosa ribi cyane akenshi riterwa n’imyumvire kandi akenshi rikagirwa n’abahungu n’ubwo n’abakobwa nabo atari shyashya aho usanga batekereza ko intego nyamukuru yo kubaka urugo ari ukubona uwo muzajya mukorana imibonano mpuzabitsina igihe cyose ubishakiye bakumva rero nta mpamvu kuko banayikora igihe bayishakiye kandi batarubatse.

Uwavuga ko ubu ari ubujiji ntiyaba abeshye, kuko kubaka urugo birenze kure izo ntekerezo, kuko muba mubaye umwe mugafatanya muri byose ikindi kandi no gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina n’ubonetse uwo ari we wese bitandukanye cyane no kugira umwe wihariye, wemerewe mu buryo bwose kuko biguha umutekano wisumbuyeho.

5.Impamvu ziterwa n’imiryango

Bijya bibaho ko ababyeyi cyangwa abafite inshingano zo kurera umuntu banamutegeka uwo bazabana, cyangwa se bakanga uwo we yakunze, bitwaje amateka y’ibisokuruza, amahame y’umuryango cyangwa izindi mpamvu nk’amakimbirane mu miryango, ubukungu butari ku rwego rumwe n’ibindi.

Imiryango ishobora kwivanga mu mubano wanyu

Hano biragoye ko twagira icyo tuhavugaho, kuko kubaha ababyeyi, abaturuta cyangwa abaturera ni ingenzi ariko na none umuntu ni we wikundira kandi ni we wiyubakira, afite uburenganzira bwo kwihitiramo uwo bazabana, bityo rero inama twatanga hano ni ukwegera ababyeyi ububashye mu cyubahiro ubagomba, ukabasobanurira neza amahitamo yawe, bakakumva bakagushyigikira ibindi byose bisigaye umwanzuro uzava muri wowe n’umutimanama wawe.