Ubuhamya burebure buteye agahinda bw’umusore w'imyaka 32 wafashwe ku ngufu n'umukobwa!

Ubusanzwe igitsinagore ni cyo gikunzwe gufatwa ku ngufu n'igitsinagabo. N'ubwo n'abagabo bafatwa ku ngufu, biragoye kumva umugabo/umusore witangira ubuhamya ko yafashwe ku ngufu n'umugore/umukobwa. Kuri ubu rero habonetse umusore wihamiriza ko yafashwe ku ngufu n'umukobwa. Tutabatindiye reka tubagezeho ubuhamya bw'uyu musore w'imyaka 32 y'amavuko wadusabye ko amazina ye twayagira ibanga; Soma ubuhamya bwe nusoza umugire inama nk'uko abyifuza. Yateruye ubuhamya bwe agira ati:

Muraho, nitwa,....(amazina yadusabye ko tuyagira ibanga). Ndi umusore w’imyaka 32, ndi umukozi wa Leta mu Rwanda n’ubwo ubu ntahari kubera nagiye hanze gukomeza amashuri. Ndaremerewe pe!! Munyemerere mbagezeho ubuhamya burebure bw’uburyo umukobwa yamfashe ku ngufu, uko yambwiye ko namuteye inda n’ibyakurikiyeho ari nabyo byatumye mbandikira nsaba inama zanyu.

Mbandikiye ngirango mumfashe mungire inama munampe ubunararibonye cyane cyane nk’aba mama n’abakobwa baba babizi yenda kurusha abagabo. Mu buzima sinigeze ngira experiences zo gukundana n’abakobwa kuko nakuze nkunda kwiga cyane pe kandi n’igitsure cy’ababyeyi nticyari kubinyemerera.

Muri 2012 naje kumenyana n’umukobwa w’umuganga musanze ku kazi aho yakoreraga, dukomeza kuzajya tuganira iby’imibereho itandukanye mbese turamenyana bihagije pe, nk’abavandimwe kuko yari amaze kumenya imyitwarire yanjye nanjye bimwe nari mbizi kuri we.

Twajyaga tunaganira ku bijyanye n’inkundo ariko ntitwigeze dukundana, rimwe rero aza kumbwira ariko ngirango ni ibiparu bisanzwe ati ariko buriya nta mukobwa wakwiba umwana ? Nti gute se ? Ati nyine mukaryamana ukamutera inda. Ndamusubiza nti kuri njye numva bitashoboka kuko ibyo nakora naba nabiteguye neza ndetse nabitekerejeho, bityo rero nteye umukobwa inda ubwo yaba ari umugore wanjye kuko sinywa inzoga ngo yenda zizankoreshe ibyo ntateguye. Ibyo byarangiriye aho.

Muri 2014 rero naje kugira amahirwe ku kazi mbona Boursse yo gukomeza amashuri i Burayi ibyo nabimubwiye muri Decembre (Ukuboza) 2014 haburaga nk’iminsi ibiri ngo njyende nk’umuntu twari tuziranye, maze nawe ansaba ko yaza akamfasha gukora baggage ndetse akazanamperekeza, nanjye nti oya shenge si ngombwa pe. Ubwo hari ku cyumweru ndi bugende kuwa mbere nijoro nari mvuye mu misa bisanzwe aba arampamagaye ngo aranshaka byihutirwa nimusange aho yabaga, najye nti ko ntahazi se ndahabwirwa n’iki ? Ati fata Moto umpe umu motari tuvugane ahakugeze.

Nahise ntaha njya guparika imodoka mu rugo, ubwo mfata moto erega, njya aho yabaga mubajije icyo anshakira ati nagira ngo dusangire ibyo natetse mbere y’uko wigendera nanjye nti ni byiza cyane nta kibazo dore ko nari nisonzeye. Twabanje kuganira ibyo kumeza bitaraza ngiye kubona mbona arimo arijomba akantu ku rutoki n’akandi akagashyira mu kanwa ngira amatsiko mba ndamubajije nti utwo ni uduki ?

Ati ni HIV rapid test (udukoresho dupima ubwandu bwa SIDA ako kanya) najye nti egoko sha sinari nkazi pe!! ati nkaguhe wipime ? Mbanza kubyanga kuko numvaga nta mpamvu ariko nyuma ndatekereza nti atankeka ukundi nti nta kibazo araza arampima nyine nk’umuganga ubundi arambika aho hashije akanya aranyereka ati dore nta bwandu ufite nawe azana ka kandi ke aranyereka ati dore nanjye ndi muzima.

Ndamubaza nti ariko ubundi ibi ubikoze ngo bimare iki ? Aho kunsubiza araseka cyane ati hari icyo bigutwaye se ? Ndabyihorera turakomeza turaganira ubwo aba azanye ibyo kurya tumaze kurya ajya muri frigo azana Jus y’agashya yansukiye ku kirahuri arampereza. Jus nayinywaga nitonze pe nk’umushyitsi gusa ntababeshye nagiye kuyimara numva mu mubiri nahindutse ukuntu nkumva ndashaka gukora rapports sexuels pe!!  Nawe arabibona atangira kunyiyegereza, ariko ndihangana mwigizayo, bigeze aho ntangira kureba nabi mpita mpaguruka nihuta ndamubwira ngo ndatashye ahita akubitaho urugi ati ntiwagenda umeze gutyo banza uruhuke ho gato.

Ubwo hari nko muma saa kumi z’umugoroba ngerageza guhatiriza ngo nsohoke ahita yirukira mu cyumba cye asigayo urufunguzo agaruka yambaye ukuntu ansanga aho muri Salon najye ubwo nari meze nabi pe numva nshaka rapports sexuels (gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina), ngerageza kumwirinda biranga birangira ankuruye tujyana mu cyumba cye icyo nibuka twararyamanye pe ndetse bimara umwanya munini cyane kuko byamaze nk’amasaha atatu ari byo turimo gusa sinzi niba twaranikingiye kuko njye nari meze nk’uwataye ubwenge.

Birangiye nahise ngwa agacuho ndasinzira nakangutse muma saa munani z’ijoro nsanga yicaye mwegamyeho ari kumpanaguza igitambaro kirimo ibintu ntabashije kumenya kuko nari ndimo kubira ibyuya byinshi. Abonye nkangutse ampa amazi yarimo ibintu ntabashije kumenya mbanza kuyanga arambwira ngo nimubabarire yibeshye ampa jus ampera mu kirahure cyarimo umuti watumye mera gutyo ngo ariko ninywe ayo mazi ndamererwa neza (Ngo ni: Anti dote).

Narayanyoye hashize nka 30 minutes mererwa neza ndamubaza nti kuki utayimpaye (Anti dote) mbere ukibona ko wibeshye akampera Jus muri kiriya kirahure araceceka ahubwo ansaba imbabazi. Narahagurutse mubaza aho yanshyiriye imyenda arayinyereka. Nahise nambara, arambaza ngo ugiye he niba ari ubwiherero ko abufite mu cyumba. Ndamubwira nti oya ndatashye, ati ntibishoboka!! Nanjye nti ndatashye yewe aho nabereye sindarara mu gasozi gutya en plus mu bakobwa nkawe !! Ansaba imbabazi ndamubabarira ariko mubwira ko nshaka gutaha, aranyinginga ngo ndyame ngende mu gitondo ndanga ageze aho arafungura ndagenda iryo joro, ngeze imbere ntega moto ndataha.

Natekereje kujya kumurega cyangwa kugira uwo mbibwira mbona ntacyo byamarira uretse kwiha urw’amenyo ikindi kandi nta n’umwanya nari ngifite dore ko nari mfite indege y’uwo munsi nijoro. Naragiye ntitwongeye kuvugana ngeze i Burayi hashize nka 2-3 mois (amezi abiri cyangwa atatu) umukobwa anyandikira ambwira ko namuteye inda.

Ntababeshye numvise ijuru ringwiriye ariko kuko nkunda abana pe !! kandi numva umwana ari uburenganzira bwe kubana n’ababyeyi be bombi iyo bariho ikindi kandi bourse twari dufite zatwemereraga gujyana n’uwo mwashakanye ku babafite. Namubajije niba yakwemera ko tubana n’ubwo tutigeze dukundana arabyemera. Namubwiye ko ngiye kugaruka i Kigali kugira ngo tubitegure birangire nko muri 2-3 semaines (mu byumweru bibiri cyangwa bitatu) mbona aratunguwe, nafashe indege ngeze i Kigali, umukobwa muhamagaye Telephone ndayibura mara icyumweru cyose idacamo nkanamwandikira ntasubize.

Mfata imodoka ngo njye kumureba ha handi iwe yabaga ariko sinahamenya dore ko nahageze rimwe nkanahava mu gicuku niriwe mpashakisha umunsi wose ndahabura kugeza ubwo mbonye essence yenda kunshiriraho ndataha mpita mfata icyemezo cyo kwisubirirayo ntamubonye. Naragiye ndiga ndarangiza muri 2016 nagarutse mu Rwanda nsubira ku kazi ndamwandikira ko nagarutse gusa ntacyo yasubije, ndamwihorera mbona ko ashobora kuba ari imitwe yantekagaho.

Muri 2017 mu kwizi kwa cumi rero naje kubona indi Bourse nayo hanze y’u Rwanda yo gukomeza PhD. Ntabyo namubwiye kuko kuva nagaruka mu Rwanda twari tutaravugana ariko uko biri kose ashobora kuba yarabimenyaga kuko hari ukuntu umuntu ashyira zimwe muri events ze kuri social media. Nditegura bisanzwe ntega indege ariko nagomaga kurara i Nairobi. Ngeze i Nairobi nijoro mbona aranyandikiye ati urashaka kubona umwana wawe ? Nanjye n’uburakari bwinshi nti vana imitwe aho !! Yahise anyoherereza amafoto menshi ye bigaragara ko atwite anyoherereza n'ay’uruhinja numva ngize ubwuzu nshaka gusubira i Kigali ariko nibutse ibyo yankoze ubushize mbona ko n’ubundi ari imitwe nikomereza urugendo.

Gusa ndamubwira ngo namufotore ifoto y’ako kanya ayinyoherereze. Mbajije umudamu umwe ambwira ko uwo mwana dusa cyane ariko mubajije uko abona angana arambwira ngo araboba afite nk’amezi 6. Sinabyitaho cyane dore ko numvaga ari iyindi mikino yapanze. Ntiturabonana ariko kuva ubwo anyoherereza amafoto ye n’uwo mwana yita uwanjye (Mu nyumve neza sinakwihakana umwana pe kuko no mu byo namubwiye byose sinigeze mubwira ko uwo mwana atari uwanjye) gusa namwe impamvu nkoresheje iyo mvugo murayumva.

Aho niga rero mbona ibyo niga birenze cyane post (akazi) nakoragaho nk’iri i Kigali. Ubu mba nishakishiriza aho nabona ibiri ku rwego nzaba ngezeho nindangiza kwiga. Mperutse kubona Offre y’Akazi mu Muryango mpuzamahanga aho nuzuzaga documents zisabwa, hari ahuzuzwa niba hari aba dependents ufite (Umugore cyangwa abana),  ntekereza wa mwana ariko mubwiye kunyoherereza documents ze z’amavuko (ibyangombwa by'amavuko) ambwira itariki y’amavuko gusa ibindi wapi ntabyo yampaye!! Byarangiye ntamwanditseho namwe murabyumva.

Gusa ikinteye impungenge noneho kurusha ejo bundi yagize atya ati ko ngiye kwirongorerwa kandi umuntu ugiye kunshaka akaba ashaka no kwiyandikishaho umwana urabyemera ? Namubwiye ko ntabyo nemera arambwira ngo ubwo rero ninze mpite mwiyandikaho gusa njye n’ubwo ntabimubwiye nashakaga ko nkurikije ibyabaye byose nabanza nkakoresha ibizamini bya ADN (DNA) dore ko inaha ari ibintu byoroshye cyane, ariko we ambwira ko ninza simpite mwiyandikishaho azahita amwandikisha kuri uwo bashaka kubana.

None rero nagira ngo mungire inama ku buryo bukurikira cyane cyane abagore, abakobwa n’abandi mufite experiences cyangwa logique kuri ibi bintu:

1. Mukurikije ibyo navuze byose, murumva amahirwe yo kuba narabyaranye n’uyu mukobwa ari kangahe ku ijana?
2. Ese birashoboka ko umuntu yaterwa inda akanga kubonana n’uwayimuteye imyaka irenga 2 yose ?
3. Mukurikije ibyo navuze byose, ibi uyu mukobwa ambwira bifite ukuri kuri kucyihe kigereranyo ?
4. Ese birashoboka ko umuntu yakwiyandikishaho umwana nyuma yazasanga atari uwe akamwiyandikuzaho ?
5. Ese birashoboka ko namureka akabigenza uko abimbwira byazaba ari byo koko ko uwo mwana ariho kandi ari uwanjye nkazasubizwa uburenganzira bwanjye ?
6. Ese niba koko umwana ari uwanjye igitekerezo cyo kubana na nyina nagikomeza kugira ngo umwana agire uburenganzira bwo kubana n’ababyeyi be bombi n’ubwo tutigeze dukundana rwose ?
7. Ese murumva mwampa nama ki zihariye kuri iki kibazo ndimo ? Ese nihe naba narakosheje cyangwa nagombaga kwitwara nte muri ibi byose byambayeho ? Ese ni iki nakora ngo mbikosore ?

Ndateganya kuza i Kigali mu minsi ya vuba ariko ababishoboye mwangira inama ku rubuga cyangwa kuri  E-mail: mpezi130@gmail.com

Murakoze

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