Kuvuga ko umukobwa bakundanye mbere yamuhamagaye ni kimwe mu bintu abahungu batinya kubwira abakunzi babo

Nk’uko hari ibintu umukobwa yumva atinye kubwira umuhungu bakundana, ni nako hari ibyo umuhungu atinya kubwira umukobwa bari mu rukundo kuko aba afite ubwoba ko byateza ibibazo byanashyira iherezo ku rukundo rwabo.

Tugiye kurebera hamwe bimwe mu byo abahungu batinya kubwira abakobwa

1.Umukobwa twakundanaga yampamagaye

Abakobwa benshi baterwa impungenge no kuba abahungu bakundana baba bakivugana n’abakobwa bahoze bakundana n’ubwo nta kintu gikomeye cyaba kibahuza. Ibi rero bituma abahungu batinya kubwira abakobwa bakundana ko abo batandukanye babavugisha; yego ashobora kuba yahamagaye kubera akazi, ari ukugusuhuza gusa nta n’ikibabaje kirimo ariko abahungu bahitamo kubibika nk’ibanga ngo badateza ibibazo. Bakobwa mubyoroshye abasore mukundana nibababwira ko bavuganye n’abo batandukanye ntimukumve ko bagiye gusubirana, nimwiyizere mwumve ko nta wuje kubatwarira abakunzi mukore ibikwiye gusa nta kindi.

2.Imisatsi yawe irajagaraye

Ubundi umusatsi usanzwe uba ari mwiza cyane ku mukobwa, ariko hari abahitamo kuwusokoresha mu bundi buryo, gusuka menshi cyangwa ibindi. Niba uhisemo gukoresha umusatsi wawe mu buryo runaka, mukobwa uribuke kuwitaho ntuzajyemo umwanda kuko umukobwa arangwa n’isuku. Umuhungu mukundana naguhobera cyangwa se akakwegera akumva impumuro idasanzwe cyangwa akabona umusatsi wawe utameze neza, ujagaraye azatinya kubikubwira ngo utabifata ukundi nyamara ntibyakabaye wari kubikosora mbere.

3.Ndakennye

Ni ukuri kose bibaho ko n’abahungu bakena tube dushyize ku ruhande imyumvire yo kumva ko abahungu ari bo bagomba kwishyura byose. Hari n’ubwo yaba ayafite ariko hari ibyo yayateganyirije kuyakoresha nyamara abakobwa bagashyira imbere ibyifuzo byabo wenda akenshi bitari na ngombwa bumva ko byose byakemurwa n’abakunzi babo. Ibi bituma abahungu batinya kubwira abakunzi babo ko bakennye cyane nk’iyo abakunzi babo ari ba bakobwa bumva ko “Amafaranga ye ni aye nanjye ayanjye ni ayanjye”. Bakobwa mworohereze abakunzi banyu mutazabaroha mu madeni kubwo gutinya ko muzabareka nibababwira ko ibyo mushaka batabashije kubyishyura.

4.Sindi Papa wawe

Abakobwa cyangwa abagore benshi bizera ko abagabo babo bakwiye kuba nka ba se, kubera ko baba bataragize amahirwe yo kubana na ba se mu mikurire yabo cyangwa se bakaba barahawe urukundo rwinshi na ba se bityo bakumva ko abagabo babo bakwiye gukomerezaho. Yego ni byiza ko umukunzi wawe yakubera byose rwose, ariko hari ukuntu abakobwa bashaka gufatwa nk’abana cyane, nyamara umukunzi wawe n’ubwo yakubera n’umubyeyi ariko ntazagufata nk’umwana we koko kuko hejuru ya byose uri umukunzi we. Rero hari uko ushobora kwitwara akumva yakubwira ko atari so ariko agatinya kurikocora  ariko oroshya, mubane nk’umugore n’umugabo cyangwa abakundana ibindi ni ugufashanya si itegeko ko akubera umubyeyi rwose.

5.Mpa akanya

Iyo umugabo amaze umwanya acecetse, umugore ashobora guhita atekereza ko urukundo rwabo rwajemo agatotsi maze agahangayika cyane akaba ayanatangira kumubwira nabi nyamara nta kibazo gihari. Ikiba gikenewe hano ni uko umuhungu yabwira umukobwa bakundana ati “Mukunzi wanjye, ndagukunda kandi nishimira kuba ndi kumwe nawe ariko nanjye njya nkenera akanya ko kuba njyenyine. Tuza rwose, nta handi ngiye.” Ibi birafasha cyane kuba umuhungu yareka ukamenya ko akeneye ko umuha akanya ariko hari abatinya kubivuga ariko niba ubonye ko akeneye uwo mwanya yabikubwiye cyangwa atabikubwiye, wamuha umwanya ahubwo we yagukumbura akigarura.

6.Uriya mugore ni mwiza

Ni ukuri isi yuzuye abagore n’abakobwa kandi beza, n’ubwo umugabo yashaka umugore ntazabura kubona abandi bagore beza. Bamwe muri abo beza bashobora kuba abavandimwe be, inshuti ze cyangwa abantu bashya mu buzima bwe ndetse n’ibyamamare wenda. Kuba yatereta abandi bagore ni ikosa rikomeye ariko kubabona akabivuga ko ari beza si bibi. Mbere yo gushima ubwiza bw’abandi bagore agomba kubanza gushima ubwiza bw’umugore we kuko abeza bo barahari ariko umwiza kandi utarutwa aba ari uwe kuko aba yaramuhisemo abona abandi. Mugore nawe tuza, kuko abo bagore bo ntuzababuza kuba beza na gato ariko wowe si ukuba mwiza gusa ahubwo anagukundira uko uri kose, umwanya wawe nta wundi uzawutwara rwose.

Iki ni igice cya mbere tugaragajemo bimwe mu bitera abahungu ubwoba bakirinda kubibwira abakobwa bakundana kuko baba batinya ko byakangiza urukundo rwabo. Vuba aha turakomeza n’igice cya kabiri. Hagati aho, abafite ibyo bagomba gukosora babe babikosora maze urukundo rwogere.